The Kama Sutra of Friendzoning
by azimah19
Summary: Genderswap Fem!Kotetsu/Bunny. How do you stop the weird from getting wierder? Whatever friendzone voodoo Tetsuko casted on Barnaby, none of it worked. It seemed as if for every two steps she took to distance herself from him only brought them three steps closer. To complicate matters, Kaede gave her a pet bunny for her birthday. Was her daughter trying to tell her something?
1. Step 01: That Perplexing Email Part

AN: We need more genderswap stories. Yeah.

* * *

Three hairs.

Three _bloody _grey hairs.

That's three more than yesterday, and Tetsuko'd be damned if there'll be another three tomorrow. They've been trickling in lately…like tourists to a blasted holiday resort. But the problem was they're there to stay, unless she did something about it.

Reaching up with baleful glare, she tugged the offenders out. She briefly wondered if there was a NEXT with powers to zap out grey hair. She'd be more than happy to pay that person a visit, evil or no.

While she's at it, how about finding a NEXT who can turn back time too? Staring back at the mirror was a woman facing the edge of middle age crisis. No matter which angle she saw herself, she still couldn't mentally Photoshop out those varicose veins, cellulite…and good God, are her breasts starting to sag? Motherhood really was the pits. She resented those lingerie models who'd bounced back into their fab pre-baby bodies as if they hadn't just squeezed a watermelon out of their orifice and _then_ saying they actually enjoyed motherhood. Tch, harlots. What do _they _know? Tetsuko realized that whatever genetic wonder she was bestowed with, having those of a model's wasn't part of the list. She was turning into Baba Yaga, she could feel it. Soon she'll run away and live in a hut with crow's feet. Or was it chicken?

She pulled on a shirt, briefly dreading the thought of her email inbox flooded by greetings of what a happy day today was. She could just _hear_ their voices, without knowing who the sender was. _Happy birthday! And again, happy birthday! _Keith. _Happy birthday, sweetums. Have a margarita on me. Do they even _have_ margaritas over there? _Nathan. _Yo…happy birthday, princess. Get your ugly ass back here pronto so we can finish our round. _Antonio. Pao-Lin and Ivan would likely pepper their chirpy greetings with LOLs and smiley faces, while Karina would shoot out something similar. And Bunny…

Well, Bunny. Hm.

Now that's a conundrum.

Tetsuko never imagined she'd ever wish this on her birthday, but she hoped he'd forgotten this time.

Muramasa actually _smiled_ at her when she stepped out of her room. She quirked her brows, but smiled back nonetheless. Kaede bounded up and threw her arms around her.

"Happy birthday, mum," she grinned, giving her a sloppy kiss on the cheek. "Come on down. We've prepared something we _know_ you'll like."

"What, it's not another baking set, is it?" Tetsuko joked. Her resume in cake making hasn't exactly been extensive.

"Oh, no. Something even better. Now, close your eyes."

"When I'm on the stairs?"

"Fine, close them before you go into the kitchen."

Tetsuko had counted her blessings, and was glad that she had any. Kaede had morphed from a mum-hating kid to a mum-hating teenager…but she supposed that's normal. She'd put up with enough Jekyll and Hyde-like moodswings to realize that teens were supposed to be monsters. But there'd be times, unexpected times, when Kaede would open up and let her mother into her world. Granted, it was awkward and tentative at first, but now that it's becoming more of a regular occurrence, Tetsuko supposed that whatever list of disappointments Kaede had stacked up against her had been atoned for bit by bit.

She felt movement beside her, and hands touching hers. Muramasa and Kaede were guiding her into the kitchen.

"No peeking," Kaede warned.

Tetsuko heard some scrabbling, followed by a metallic-sounding rattle. "Can I look now?" she asked.

Kaede made her stop, then said: "Ok, now."

Tetsuko opened her eyes. Her grin faded when she saw the rectangular thing before her.

"Oh, no," she breathed. "You guys really didn't-"

* * *

Nathan Seymour was a social network all by himself. Hidden inside that twice-bleached and Seraphine Pink-coloured head was the mind of a military tactician, and anyone whose been in his place for long enough knew that knowledge was the _real_ power.

There'd been rumours circulating within the Hero grapevine, and he'd been proud to admit (silently, of course) that he was the one who started it. Wild Tigress was coming back to Sternbild, but this time as a teacher. Hero Academy had offered her a position. Contract basis, starting off with the standard six-month probation period.

Nathan never once believed that retirement was for Tetsuko. She was the kind of woman who _had _to do something. An image of the Wild Tigress sitting at home, twiddling her thumbs up her ass was a sad one. An image of Barnaby carrying about his work and acting as if he didn't care was an even sadder one. Nathan knew, with as much certainty as the next Alexander McQueen sale, that something had gone down between them, and no amount of poking and prodding on Barnaby's part would elicit any form of concrete answer from the man. He'd dodged questions the same way he dodged bullets, albeit in a very maddeningly polite way. Nathan felt compelled to grab him by the shoulders and shake some sense into him at times.

Well, there's more than one way to fix a broken nail, and there's certainly _plenty_ more ways for Nathan to get some juicy gossip out of those two. The first step was to get Tetsuko back to the city. A little business powwow with the Hero Academy's director took care of that. Helios Energy's generous contribution, along with the promise of a brand new VR training facility came with Tetsuko attached, and the director was more than happy to oblige. He'd always welcomed former Heroes joining the teaching staff, and if it meant having Barnaby jumping aboard in the long run, then all the better.

If it were any other crazed megalomaniac conceiving his ultimate dastardly plan, he would've sealed it with a triumphant 'Mmwahahaaaa!' followed by the customary thunderclap. But this was Nathan, and he chuckled quietly instead, examining his manicured nails with microscopic scrutiny. Oh, he's brilliantly fabulous. He couldn't wait to see Handsome's response after all this.

"Don't say I never did anything for you, girl," he purred smugly to himself.

* * *

Tetsuko stared morosely at the computer screen, mentally composing the email she'd been dreading to send. _Dear Mr. Brooks-_ no, too formal. _Whazzup man?- _nah, too ghetto. _Hey, howzit shakin'? –_ oh, God. That's too…whatever.

With a resigned sigh, she began typing.

_Yo, Bunny,_

_So you've probably heard by now, but if you hadn't, then…well, you'd better prepare yourself. This old woman that is you ex-partner is coming back to Sternbild! Hahaha, thought you've seen the last of me, eh? Fat chance, buddy! Anyway, so…um, just so we're clear…I don't want things to get weird between us, okay? Not that things were weird before…but I meant weird as like that time when Ivan said he had some neko hentai…_

Tetsuko paused, fiercely debating how she should end the message. She typed in the next three words, erased it, tried again, resisted the urge to delete it again, and simply went on:

_So I hope that we could asgasfdegasdaf-_

Tetsuko slumped in her seat, quite taken over by the brain fart moment she just had. This is stupid. She sounded like some lovesick schoolgirl! Bunny would _never _accept this! Shit.

"Oi, Tetsu! What're you doing? If you wait any longer, the car'll drive itself!" Muramasa hollered from the front door.

"Okay! Okay!" Tetsuko shouted, getting to her feet. "Just needed to grab something!" she went on, then dashed upstairs.

Kaede darted out from the kitchen, waving a small travel pouch. "Mum, you forgot your vitamins _again! _Honestly, you _always_ forget the important stuff!"

She stopped short in front of the computer. The email addressed to Barnaby was still on, and a message flashed: _Auto-saving to Drafts._ She pursed her lips and shook her head, bending over to add a brief line at the bottom before pressing the 'Send' button.

"Mum, I'm shutting down the computer! You're not in the middle of doing anything important, are you?" she called out.

Tetsuko emerged from the stairs, looking visibly flustered. "Eh. Ah, yeah. Um, j-just close everything up, will you? Thanks! Er, you didn't happen to read anything…did you?"

"Please. I've got better things to do than poke around your emails, mum," Kaede deadpanned, dropping the vitamin pouch onto her mother's hand as she brushed past. "Now _come on!_ It's two hours to Sternbild and you still need to unpack once you're there."

"Er. Right you are," said Tetsuko, shooting the computer an uncomfortable look before hurrying after Kaede.

* * *

About a hundred miles away, Barnaby sneezed. Somebody must've been thinking of him. Tetsuko had always believed that kind of superstitious nonsense. He'd retorted that if that was the case, then he, as the undisputed King of Heroes, would be sneezing every five seconds.

His phone suddenly chirped. He sighed, flipping it open. If it's another spam message from his telco provider, why he'll-

He frowned. It was a message from Tetsuko. So she'll be coming over to Sternbild. Well that's a…surprise. He'd reached the part where she broke off into a nonsensical garble and shook his head. That's very much like her. He could almost see her flailing her hands and rolling her eyes as she typed this. The final sentence, however, intrigued him.

_So, come over to my old apartment and I'll show you what Kaede got me for my birthday. _

A friendly gesture? Or simply her way of saying she wanted to pick things up where they left? The sudden change of tone almost made him believe that someone else had added the last part before sending it off without Tetsuko's knowledge.

But that didn't matter. The point was she's coming, and he felt slightly guilty for not wishing her happy birthday. He'd remembered, of course, but he couldn't for the life of him understand why he can't do something he'd always done naturally when they were working together.

Maybe it's that weird factor. Yes, that must be it. But she didn't want it to be weird, so he could somewhat go with that. And…what's all this nonsense about Ivan's hentai? He mentally filed it under 'Irrelevant', positive that it was something he didn't need to know.

He snapped his phone shut. It's time he'd thought of some suitable welcome back gift for her.

* * *

Tetsuko exited the toll and drove up the flyover linking directly to the highway. Inside her breast pocket was the final cheque her brother gave her for working at his liquor store. It was…significantly more than her usual pay, but he'd waved her protests aside and gave her a tight hug instead.

"Stay out of trouble, willya?" he'd whispered fiercely to her. "I mean it."

Kaede finished texting her friends, and said to her mother. "So I bet your Hero friends have got a party all planned out."

"Ha, I doubt it. I haven't told anyone about my job yet."

"Really? Not even Barnaby?"

"Nothing's confirmed yet, remember? I still have to attend the interview."

"Uh-huh. And yet you still brought all of your stuff with you."

Tetsuko chuckled. "Ok, Miss Sherlock. Who taught you to be observant all of a sudden, hm?"

"Just thought that Barnaby would like to know, that's all," Kaede retorted sulkily.

"Well then, why don't _you_ text him and tell him I'm coming? I know you have his number, BarnabysFutureWife," said Tetsuko, quoting her daughter's IM username.

That, however, didn't elicit the response she was expecting. Kaede merely snorted and waved a hand dismissively. "That's _so_ yesterday's news, mum. He's too old for me. Besides, everyone knows he's got the hots for you."

Tetsuko, who was signalling to get to the next lane, suddenly swerved, causing the EconoVan behind her to parp angrily and zoom past her.

"Eeh, _what?!" _she squawked. "Is that really what everyone thought? Sorry, Mister Van!"

"Hmph." Kaede threw her a derisive look. "Don't think I don't know what the two of you did on your last night at Sternbild! I've got the pictures and everything!"

The horror of horrors dawned on Tetsuko's face as a single, desperate train of thought sped past her mind. _Oh, God. Please don't tell me someone saw us going to his place. And…and that one time in his car…oh, dear…_

"You were at the Cultural Expo, acting all lovey dovey and everything! He even had his arms around you!"

"Eh?" _Oh, _that _time. _"Come on, it was chilly! He was just keeping me warm!"

"It was in the middle of _summer! _Honestly, mother. Sometimes I don't know if you're really getting senile, or you just deliberately don't remember! As for warm, I'm sure certain _bits_ of his were getting toasty enough, but that is something I don't even want to think about!"

"Well, good! Because you're still too young to think about his bits…or any other guy's bits for that matter!" Tetsuko shot back.

Kaede humphed again, muttering something along the lines of "…'m already thirteen…" Tetsuko could literally write an entire dictionary of teenager responses, from simple grunts to monosyllabic words like 'Out' and 'No', by just observing her daughter.

They drove along in silence for while, the sounds of Kaede's latest mp3 collection warbling through the stereo system.

"Just tell me something," she finally said. "Are you replacing dad?"

Tetsuko sighed. She hated that question. "Kaede, _no one _can replace him. I told you that many times, remember?"

"Yeah," she said, turning to look out the window. "Sure." Her face, however, indicated that she wasn't too happy about Tetsuko's answer.

The former Hero pursed her lips. It wasn't the first time that she wished she had telepathic powers. She'd come to dread the closed-off expression her daughter sometimes wore. It made her wonder what other screw-up she'd unknowingly committed this time.

She'd paid a visit to the cemetery the day before yesterday. It seemed like a foolish notion, but she really wished she could hear her husband's advice again. She lit the incense, pressed it upon the earth, and leaned back on her heels as she looked up at his tombstone.

"I feel stupid talking to a piece of rock," she said. "But you're the best listener I've ever known…and I just wish there's a way to bring you back." She paused, collecting her thoughts. The sickly sweet smell of sandalwood and myrrh mingled in the air, strangely reminding her of Bunny. That man was big on aromatherapy, and was deeply offended when she once made fun of it. Tetsuko unconsciously let out a laugh.

"Sorry, mind's wandering a bit there. So I'll be going back to Sternbild again. Hah, thought I was done with that place, but guess I was wrong. Um, wish me luck on my new job, okay?"

Tetsuko could almost imagine her husband reflected on the marble surface of the tombstone, pushing his glasses up his nose, smiling and nodding at her.

"About Kaede…well, she no longer hates me a lot…that just means she hates me a bit. Did you know she's become quite a smartass? I blame your genes for that. Anyway, the girl _worships _you. Well, she worships _Bunny, _actually_. _I can't believe she's got close to fifty of his autographs by now. God only knows what she does with them. Probably as wallpaper? Looking at her, I sometimes can't help but wonder…" Tetsuko trailed off, biting her lower lip.

"Maybe the wrong _parent_ died."

There. She'd said it. It shouldn't be said, but she did anyway.

"Anata," she sighed. "I'm scared shitless here. Please tell me what to do."

She waited. For what? Whatever response her husband could give her were now swallowed beneath six feet of earth. The idealistic part of her imagined some sort of sign, maybe a shower of cherry blossoms, or a white dove flying overhead.

She pressed her palms flat together and offered a silent prayer. The wind had dried her tears by the time she left. On a sudden whim, she found herself at the nearby shinto shrine. She remembered dragging Antonio all the way there during their school days; they'd prayed for stupid, juvenile things and tried to steal from the offertory box. God, they really were a bunch of rascals.

Tetsuko ambled over to the ema board, eyes wandering idly over the messages scrawled over the plates. _Please marry me. Please give me that promotion. Please heal my grandmother. Help me win the lottery. _

"Heh, _I _could do with a little lottery win myself," Tetsuko chuckled to herself. She suddenly stopped, cocking her head sideways. Her hand slowly came up to unhook a curiously written ema. For a long moment she stared at it, wondering if she was seeing things.

_Please make my mother happy. -K. Kaburagi-_

There was a childish scrawl of a tiger's head at the bottom.

Tetsuko didn't know how it happened, but at that moment, this was the answer she was looking for.

"Eh?" she said, shaking herself out of the past. "You said something?"

"I said you shouldn't worry about me," said Kaede, eyes still watching the landscape blurring past. "You need to find someone who'd take care of you."

"You mean, like a nursing home? Is that where you're dumping me once you get old enough?"

"Mum, I'm serious!" Kaede snapped to the background of Tetsuko's tinkling laughter.

"Okay, okay…peace! Rock Bison's taking care of me. You know he's your godfather, right? Isn't that cool? How many kids can actually say they've got Heroes looking out for them? Hm?"

"I suppose."

"Come on, Kaede. You're getting all mopey again, just like Bunny! I swear he's a bad influence on you! Look, we'll check out Hero Academy together, just you and me. Who knows, maybe in three years' time you'll have me as your teacher when you enroll there. I'll be sure to give you passing marks anytime. 100% guarantee!"

"That's favouritism, and I will not stand for it! If I earn merit based on who I know and not my real talents, then what's the point of working hard?"

Tetsuko was visibly taken aback. "Sheesh, what's wrong with kids these days? All of a sudden everyone's all goody-two-shoes. I was just saying, ok? I'm putting the idea out there, so it's up to you whether you want to take it up or not. Besides, don't knock it until you've tried it. You have any idea how tough exams are? I always fail mine."

"That's because you always study at the last minute. Dad told me."

"Eh? Ah? Is that so? Well…ahaha, I guess he's right," Tetsuko grinned, rubbing the back of her neck sheepishly. "Lucky for you, mama's here to help you out anytime!"

Kaede rolled her eyes, and uttered the textbook reply teenagers used to underline the ignorance of adults: "Whatever."

* * *

Episode the next: Bunny meets Tetsuko's birthday gift.


	2. Step 02: That Reunion Part

Barnaby knew he was impeccable as always, but that still didn't stop him from straightening up his jacket and smoothing out his hair before ringing the doorbell.

He heard a brief scuffle going on inside, followed by Tetsuko's familiar voice yelling: "Kaede, get that, willya? It's probably the newspaper man again."

"Fine, fine," Kaede said in irritated tones, shuffling her feet to the door and peeking through the peephole.

Barnaby smiled at the sudden stunned silence, and soon enough the chain rattled aside and the door shot open.

"Good morning, miss," he said suavely. "Would you be interested in subscribing to the 'Barnaby Brooks Jr. Daily'?"

"Barnaby!" Kaede exclaimed, a wide grin colouring her face.

"Wow, you're much taller than I remember!"

"Come on inside! Mum will _die_ once she sees you!"

"Who is it, Kaed-" Tetsuko asked, emerging from the kitchen.

Barnaby stared. He'd been steeling himself for this very moment, and it took everything he had to stop him from doing his Handsome Escape. Tetsuko had an oversized shirt on, with a plant spritzer and a sponge in her hands. She looked so homely and familiar, and it suddenly felt as if she'd never even left. She'd clearly hadn't changed a bit from the entire year he hadn't seen her.

Tetsuko too was shell-shocked, but only for a brief moment. Then the spritzer and sponge went flying and she uttered an earsplitting shriek, and before Barnaby knew it, he found himself with a handful of Tetsuko.

"Bunny, you're here!" she exclaimed, hugging him fiercely. She pushed him back with a puzzled expression. "Wait, why are you here?"

"Silly woman. Your email, remember? You sent it to me yesterday."

"Email? I didn't send you an em-" Tetsuko's eyes narrowed suspiciously and she turned towards Kaede. "This is _your_ doing, isn't it?"

Kaede gave an indifferent shrug. "Mum was too chicken shit to send it herself, so I merely did her a favour. It's good to see Barnaby again, right mum?" she said, tacking the last sentence with such sickly sweetness.

"You and I are going to have a talk about interfering with other people's private lives after this, young lady," Tetsuko said, waving an admonishing finger at her.

"Hah, yes. _You're _one to talk, you big meddler," shot Barnaby with a smile.

"You're different. You _need_ someone to meddle. Girls don't like overly emo guys, you know. Oh, c'mere you," she pulled him back into another hug. "Now let me get a good look at you," she said, stepping out of his arms and giving him a critical once over. "Meh, skinny as always. Have you been eating properly? And still the same hair. Tch, would it _kill_ you to have it trimmed a bit?"

"I like it as it is. _You, _on the other hand, have shown further signs of maturity."

"You're talking about my grey hair, aren't you? Dammit, I was hoping you wouldn't notice. I'm thirty-six, Bunny. I'm still too _young_ to look old!"

"Sure you are," he said sardonically.

"Hmm.."

Kaede watched the way her mother and Barnaby gazed at each other. It was a gag-worthy moment, so she shook her head, and clapped her hands loudly to break the moment.

"Welp, I'm off for some groceries. How much cash you've got with you, mum?"

"Eh? Ah, well…I still haven't got the chance to cash in your uncle's cheque yet," Tetsuko spluttered, disentangling herself from Barnaby and theatrically patting her person as is wads of money would fall out anytime. "Just help yourself to whatever you can find in my purse."

"Allow me," said Barnaby, producing his wallet. "Get some dinner while you're at it. I take it your mother's culinary skills are still stuck at the level of rice in fried form?"

"Oi, don't look down on me, Bunny! I can make curry udon now. It's rather tasty too. Ask Kaede!"

Her daughter made a face. "If you like it topped with mayonnaise, sure."

"Hey, I have you know that mayonnaise is part of the food pyramid. They just didn't put it in because there's too much vegetables at the bottom! Anyway, just give me a sec and I'll drive you to the store."

"Nevermind. I can walk. You and Barnaby should catch up. I'm sure there's tons of stuff you two would want to talk about."

"You sure?" Tetsuko said doubtfully. "Well, stay safe. Don't talk to strangers…specially if they want to give you candy. Or a lift. Or-"

"I know, _mother." _Kaede said, rolling her eyes. "You've said the same thing a hundred and fifty times already. I'll go to the store and straight back. No stops anywhere. Okay? Okay."

Tetsuko sighed as she watched the front door shut itself. "I can tell you one thing, Bunny. If a woman ever says she wants to have kids, you _run, _okay? Making 'em is fun and all, but after that you have to put up with the sulkings and temper tantrums…and that's just from the mother!"

"I will keep that in mind," said Barnaby, suppressing a smile as he followed her into the living room. "So what's this fantastic birthday gift from Kaede that you've been _dying_ to show me?"

"What? She said that in the email? What else had she put in there?"

"Just that, I promise you."

"Well," Tetsuko trailed off, looking at him doubtfully. "I'll show you. But you have to prepare yourself, okay?"

* * *

Barnaby stared.

"Please tell me you didn't name him Barnaby," he said flatly.

It was a bunny rabbit. A fat, beige-coloured Silk Angora with puffy fur like a Persian cat's. It sat in its cage, regarding Barnaby suspiciously with its beady eyes.

"No. I couldn't think of _what_ to name him," said Tetsuko, chopping up carrots. "At least I think it's a him. How'd you know if a rabbit's a boy or a girl?"

"Ah, so you're looking at me because you assume I have the answer, and also because I happen to be saddled with the unwanted moniker 'Bunny-chan', yes?"

"Oh, stop cerebralizing _everything, _Bunny. It's a simple enough question."

"Then I could safely surmise that I do not know."

"He hates me, you know. The beast," Tetsuko said, chomping down the end of a carrot and beginning to chew furiously. She looked very much like a rabbit herself, and for a brief moment Barnaby had to duck his head to hide his smile. "He's silently plotting to murder me. Don't let his fluffy cuteness fool you. I think he thinks you're ok. But me? He took one look, and bit my finger!"

"That's what they do, apparently. But again, I'm not the right person to ask."

"Come _on,_ Bunny! Don't tell me you didn't keep pets when you were a kid? And I'm not talking about them Tamagotchi ones!"

"Hah, those _things,"_ Barnaby said sneeringly. Tamagotchis were to mechatronic enthusiasts what instant noodles were to fine dining. "Actually, no. I didn't have any pets."

"For real? You never even _built_ one? Not even a robotic girlfriend? I know you're good with those engineering stuff."

"My time is already occupied with building a toaster that toasts bread perfectly."

Tetsuko gave him a funny look, and then burst out laughing. "You're evil, man. Seriously evil. I don't know why you're not ruling Sternbild by now."

"What, being King of Heroes isn't good enough?"

"Yeah, and think about the times you've gotten yourself laid. You _are_ seeing someone…aren't you?"

Tetsuko threw the question with such casual cheerfulness that it caught Barnaby completely off guard. He made the mistake of hesitating. Her eyes searched his, and he had to force himself to look at her squarely.

"A few. Here and there. Casually."

"Liar. You have such an obvious tell, Bunny," said Tetsuko, opening the rabbit cage and putting in a bowl of carroty treats.

"I…do?"

"Yeah. You'd always half-clench your fist when you're lying."

As expected, he found his gaze going downwards. "No, I don't."

"Ha, that's because I called you out. Honestly, I've known you for…what? Four years now? I've got stuff about you that not even your _fangirls_ know about," his ex-partner said, waggling her brows at him. Tetsuko trying to look sinister was, to be honest, pathetic to say the least, and Barnaby said so.

"You don't scare me, old goat."

"Oi, careful who you're calling 'old goat'. You're looking at the future teacher of Hero Academy!"

"Ah, yes. Nathan mentioned something about that. Congratulations."

"Shush, I'm not in yet! Don't jinx me!"

"You're being too modest. I'm sure the director's more than happy to have you there. If he needs further convincing, I can always put in a good word for you."

"Thanks, Bunny. That's really sweet of you."

"I'm know you'll be a great teacher. You've a knack for inspiring people."

"Wow, two compliments in a row? That's a record. What have I done to deserve it?"

"It's a gift. A belated birthday gift. I'll even throw in another free one for you: you look well…for an old woman."

"Gosh, you sure do know how to make me feel special," Tetsuko said, pulling a face.

Barnaby laughed. "Sorry I didn't wish you yesterday. I just…"

"Forgot? That's okay."

"No," he said slowly, as if emphasizing his point. "I was just thinking of a perfect gift to give you, that's all."

"Thanks. But unless it's payment for Kaede's tuition fees _and _a new pair of skates, I really don't want anything else. Oh, and downpayment for a new house also helps. Choose whichever. Did you realize how expensive things are getting these days? My filling came off last month and I went to the dentist to fix it. He charged me close to a 130 Stern dollars! Imagine that!"

Barnaby couldn't resist saying it. "You didn't ask them to give you a senior citizen's rate?"

"Oh, harhar."

"Interestingly enough," said Barnaby, tapping his chin with a finger. "There's a clause in my contract that says 'Family Medical Coverage'. For as long as I'm under Apollon, my spouse and children gets free medical checkups. That includes dental too."

Tetsuko gave him a flat look. "Bunny, I'm not gonna marry you just for a goddamned free dental."

Barnaby spread out his hands in mock surrender. "I'm just telling you, that's all."

"And I don't recall having that clause under _my_ contract. And believe me, I read everything thoroughly just like you told me to."

"That's because you're such a lousy negotiator."

"To think that _that_ would've come in handy when-"

"When what?"

Tetsuko smiled brightly. "When Kaede had her appendicitis taken out. Remember I told you? It happened in June last year."

Barnaby could feel it then: the ghost of Tetsuko's husband creeping into their conversation like it wont to happen everytime they got close. He hated it. That man was a relationship bar Tetsuko had set permanently high for anyone to reach, including himself.

"Yes, I remember," he managed to say. "She recovered swimmingly."

Tetsuko beamed. "Thank goodness for that. So you're staying for dinner? I'm afraid I can only offer you coffee and chips, though. There's still plenty of stuff I need to sort out first."

Barnaby shook his head. "Another time, maybe. I'm keeping my schedule open for your curry udon."

"It's a family recipe, so prepare to be amazed!"

They'd hugged again, this time tighter than before, with Tetsuko whispering she was really happy to see him again. It made him feel much better.

He'd exited her apartment, only to find Kaede standing outside with an armful of groceries. She had an unnervingly serious expression on her face.

"We need to talk," she stated.

A brow shot out. "I'm listening," said Barnaby.

"You need to take care of mum. She misses you something awful, yet she wouldn't say it out loud."

Barnaby smiled. "Kaede, I know she can take care of herself."

"No, you don't understand! Mum, she's…did you know how miserable she was last year? She was _mooning,_ Barnaby…like some lost puppy. It's pathetic, and I blame you for it. Don't tell me I'm too young to understand. I get that enough from her. But I know what's going on between you two. The stuff you did together before she left Sternbild? I've got it all in my phone."

Barnaby remained smiling, but only because he was beginning to panic._ Did she know about Tetsuko coming over to my place? And about that…that activity in the car…good God._

"Hel-loo? Cultural Expo? You two going about like randy teenagers. Honestly, you adults should show a better example to us kids! Hmph! And you call yourselves Heroes! Don't bother nicking my phone and erasing everything. It was all over the internet!"

Barnaby released the breath he didn't realize he was holding. "Ah, is that so? Well, I do admit that we're friendly with-"

"And it was _summer,_ so don't say you were 'just warming her up'. If you were really copping a feel, you might as well be a gentleman about it and come clean about your intentions towards her! Sheesh, mum's always saying that boys should respect my body, but you…you…"

Barnaby shook his head. "Kaede, I've nothing but the highest regard for your mother. That was just a time when things didn't go the way we wanted…and that's all I can say about that. As for taking care of her, I know someone else who can do a far better job."

Kaede scowled. "Please don't say Uncle Antonio. He's only my godfather. He's nice and all, but he can't even watch after himself!"

"No." With a half-smile, Barnaby leaned forth and pointed at her. "You."

"Me?"

"Yes, you. You've really come a long way, haven't you? If I didn't know better, Tetsuko had raised a little Wild Tigress of her own."

Kaede actually beamed. "You think so?"

"I _know_ so."

"But-" the girl's expression dropped. "Mum's got no more powers now…"

"Which is why you need to watch out for her. She means well. It's just that…well, she doesn't think things through sometimes."

"Yeah, I know that."

"Good. It's – uh – nice having this chat."

"Just so that we're clear with things."

"Exactly," Barnaby said, giving her a warm squeeze on the shoulder.

"See you around, Barnaby," said Kaede, reaching out for the doorknob.

"Bye."

Barnaby turned and started walking away. He heard a muffled 'Oh, dear…', followed by a distressing cracking sound. He spun around. Kaede was still glowing blue, a mortified look on her face as she held the remains of the door. The rest of it had been turned to splinters.

Tetsuko's banshee shriek immediately followed afterwards. _"Bunnnyyyyy! How many times must I tell you to not touch my baby?!" _

Wincing, Barnaby did an abrupt about turn, fleeing the scene as fast as his bunny legs could carry him.

* * *

Episode the next: What really happened at the Cultural Expo. And Tetsuko tells Nathan about Bunny's gear stick.


	3. Step 03: That Truthful Part

AN: I don't know what Tetsuko's husband's name would be, so I just went with Tomo.

* * *

Tetsuko didn't breeze through Justice Tower's security like she used to, but she's fine with that. She now walked about the place toting a 'Visitor' ID card, and without her domino mask, she was just plain old Tetsuko T. Kaburagi.

Her only stop was, naturally, the gym. She'd sauntered in, whistling lightly under her breath, and waited until the rest of the Heroes noticed her. A cacophony of squeals ensued, as Karina, Pao Lin and Nathan smothered her with hugs and kisses. Ivan shyly stood back, but a wide smile could be seen through the curtain of his bangs as Tetsuko patted him in the head. Antonio fistbumped and high-fived her, while Keith gallantly bowed and kissed her hand.

"Whew, this place hasn't changed a bit!" Tetsuko breathed. Save for the season's latest Hero posters and Ivan's collection of anime figurines, everything was the same…even that distinct locker room sweat smell.

"You have such _lousy_ timing, Tets," said Nathan. "Handsome's not here. He's got photoshoots of some sort."

"Nah, that's okay. I already saw him yesterday," said Tetsuko.

Nathan raised an exquisitely plucked brow. "Oh?" he said thoughtfully.

"Is it true what we heard?" Pao Lin eagerly butted in. "You've got a job offer?"

"That means you're staying, right? You'd better not run off like you did last time," Karina said in scolding tones.

"Ahaha…n-nothing's confirmed yet! There's still the interview, and…well, truthfully I've never gone to these things before. Maybe an endurance test or something?" said Tetsuko.

"Whatever it is, I wish Wild Tigress all the best!" said Keith. "You can do it!"

"Come on, you've _gotta_ check out our new posters. My stupid sponsor's gone and Photoshopped my boobs again. Can you believe it? Now it's one size bigger!" said Karina, pulling her arm.

"You kidding me? I wish I had yours when I was sixteen!" Tetsuko exclaimed.

"Ha, to replace your sagging ones?" Antonio said with a smirk.

"Oi, they're still Wild, ok?"

They chatted animatedly for a while, and checked out the posters. Tetsuko expressed suitable admiration for Karina's visually adjusted mammary glands, although she was quick to stress that she still wasn't happy that Suntory were making her out as nothing more than fanservice fodder. At least Tetsuko didn't have to worry about that during her Hero days, because Bunny was _the_ fanservice.

At one point, when everyone's attention was suitably diverted, Tetsuko suddenly felt a hand grab her elbow, and she was pulled behind a particularly tasteless potted plant. Nathan's face loomed over her, looking more serious than he ever could.

"Listen, girl," he said. "Tonight. You, me, the Hellfire Club. _No excuses."_

"Eh? What for? I-I don't feel like dancing, Nath-"

"No, you don't understand. Tonight, you and I are going out. I'll pick you up, so by _God_ you'd better be ready by 7." Nathan released her. "And wear something sexy."

"B-but I don't have anything sex-"

The man was already gone. "Hmph, _typical_ superhero exit," Tetsuko grumbled.

* * *

True to his word, Nathan waited outside her home in his flaming red Zenvo, right at the dot of 7pm. He rolled his eyes when he saw Tetsuko.

"I said _sexy,_ Tets. Don't you have anything else other than your outdated gear?"

"I prefer the term 'retro'," said Tetsuko, sliding onto the passenger seat and closing the door after her. She hadn't bothered to change her usual vest-and-shirt assembly, although she did scrub herself well in the shower. She was now squeaky clean from top to bottom.

"That's another word for _'so_ last year', darling," drawled Nathan as he joined the traffic.

"So what was so important that I _have _to go out with you? Kaede's all alone at home, you know."

"She's got free access to the tv?"

"Yeah."

"And insane amounts of snacks?"

"We had dinner. But…yeah."

"Then she'll be fine. If anything happens, she'll call the fire brigade. Or her Mama's friends, ahaha!"

"Oh, haha indeed. Well?"

"Honey, what _do _we talk about when you and I get together?"

Tetsuko thought about it. "McClaren? That tennis player you had a crush on?"

"McEnroy. And it's_ rugby," _Nathan stressed.

"Same thing," said Tetsuko, waving a hand dismissively.

"No, it's not!"

"Both sports involve hitting balls around, no?"

"Interesting. But no. Try again."

Tetsuko growled. She had little patience for guessing games. "Antonio's butt? Or just guys' butts in general?"

"Ha! No. Final guess."

"Global warming? Plutonium deposits? What?"

Nathan turned towards her and gave her a Sphinx-like smile. "Bar-na-by!"

"Eeh? _Bunny?_ What about him?"

"Hm, hm…there's something you kids aren't sharing with your Aunty Nathan, isn't there?"

"Such as…? What we have for breakfast, that kind of thing?"

"I know you two hooked up at some point. Don't deny it! Question is, when and what happened afterwards? Handsome wouldn't admit it, of course…but he completely changed after you left. Kept to himself a lot. At least when you were around he'd show his face when we have our little gatherings."

"He was busy! Building a pet toaster."

Nathan's brow wrinkled. "What?"

"Nothing. Private joke. Anyway, you know how he is. A bit anti-social, but at least now he plays nicer with the others…right?"

"Yes. He's a puppy you've housebroken quite nicely. How _did _you ever manage that?"

"Honestly? I don't know."

"Whatever you did, it worked. So spill, girl. I just _know_ there's a story behind this."

"Sheesh, you're being kinda nosy, aren't you?"

"That's why you love me, Tets," said Nathan with a wink. "Ah, so we're here."

"This place yours?" Tetsuko asked as the valets opened the doors for them.

"The name's such a gimme, isn't it?" Nathan beamed, stepping out of the car, fashionable heels clicking smartly on the asphalt.

"Well, it's certainly…" said Tetsuko, craning her neck up and taking in the garish neon lights, the building's modern deco design, and concluded: "Something."

Nathan didn't resume his line of interrogation until they were comfortably seated inside his personal booth. Tetsuko had settled for a non-alcoholic drink, much to his disappointment. He'd hoped that he could get her loose enough for her to confess everything.

"Sorry, I gotta watch my health now," Tetsuko had said, smiling politely.

"You're _really _showing your age when you talk like that, you know," Nathan sighed. "But, whatever. So, back to Barnaby…"

"There's really nothing to tell! We're good friends, and that's it."

"Um-hmm. Friends with benefits, I take it?"

"Haha, you're worse than the tabloids, Nathan…always speculating the wrong things."

"Really? Then how do you explain this?" said Nathan, taking out his smartphone and showing it to her.

Tetsuko automatically closed her eyes, knowing full well what was on the screen. She imagined the amount of cameras snapping at that moment, calculated the frame rate and number of consecutive shots, and if she gathered them all together, she'd have enough material to make a full ten second 360 degree clip of her and Barnaby kissing at the Cultural Expo last year.

She laughed uneasily. "Ahahaha, _that_ thing? Uhm, that's – that's just harmless! Ok, please get that off my face," she pushed the phone aside. "Something was stuck in my teeth, and Bunny was helping me get it out."

Nathan gave her a flat look. "A pervy version of Bunny floss? Come on, you can do better than that."

"Ok, fine. You want the truth? Then here goes-" Tetsuko paused, took a deep breath, and said: "My heels snapped that time. I tripped and Bunny caught me."

Nathan slapped the tabletop hard enough to make her jump. _"With his mouth? Really, Tets?!" _

Tetsuko gulped. For a man wearing shimmering eyeshadow and double coating of mascara, Nathan certainly could look fierce if he wanted to. The former Wild Tigress took a long sip from her iced tea and tried again.

"This is old news, Nathan. Why now? Why here? You could've asked about this ages ago."

"I _did. _The media was crawling all over this after you left. Remember those emails I sent that _you never replied?" _

Tetsuko did, and her guilt was clearly written on her face. "Ah, _media. _You know how they are. Leave it alone for three days and they'll move on to other things."

"You really won't share something important like this with your Hero friends? Your _best_ friends?"

Tetsuko winced. She was hoping that Nathan wouldn't pull out the friendship card to emotionally blackmail her.

"Alright, fine," she said after a lengthy pause. "You want the truth?"

"No funny tricks this time," Nathan growled.

"Bunny and I…may have…or rather, we _almost…_did a home run."

Nathan's expression went blank at first. Tetsuko briefly wondered if that information alone wasn't sensational enough for him. But suddenly he erupted in a loud squeal, causing her to jump for the second time. He swooped forth, grabbing both her hands.

"Really?! So what happened?" he said excitedly. "Tell me _everything!" _

"Everything?" Tetsuko echoed weakly.

"_Everything,"_ Nathan affirmed. "So that Cultural Expo was just the beginning?"

"We went out for dinner that night. His treat. At some swizz schmancy restaurant whose name I can't pronouce. Anyway, so. Everything was normal. I was being my usual klutzy derp, and he laughed at me. Thinking back I realize that we both didn't want to think that I was leaving the next day. It was…sad, really…" Tetsuko trailed off, her eyes caught in the past.

"Somewhere along the way," she went on, "we started walking around the Expo. They had all these traditional dances going on, and it just so happened that we watched the Kabuki dance. Bunny mentioned that he'd never seen such things before. I told him it's rather common over at Oriental Town. The municipal council's always organizing shows to 'educate the youngsters' or somesuch rot. Anyway, then Bunny suddenly said he couldn't imagine what he'd do without me around anymore. I made some stupid joke, and before I know it, we were kissing."

Tetsuko sat back. Somewhere in the middle of her tale, Nathan had released her and clasped both his hands over his heart. It could've just been the light, but the man's eyes looked positively glistening. "Magic," he breathed dreamily. His face then turned serious all of a sudden as he snapped: "Then? Did you get into his pants afterwards?"

"You _really _want to know that part too?" Tetsuko muttered.

"Well? You've already started talking, so you might as well finish it. Otherwise I'll keep on hounding you forever!"

"We went back to his place. Then things happened in his car, and…oh God, I don't think I'd ever look at his gear stick the same way again," Tetsuko said, blushing profusely.

"His gear stick, or his 'gear stick'?"

"That _gear_ stick! The-the one you use to switch your car gear!" Tetsuko exclaimed, demonstrating with one hand. "Sheesh, how dirty minded can you get?"

"You'd be surprised, Tets. Then?"

"Then we got into his room, and before I know it, I was…we were…" Tetsuko stuttered. If Nathan was expecting a blow-by-blow account of her sex life, then he's in for a big disappointment. She was never comfortable talking about such things to other people. "We got naked, okay? I was ready and he really was about to do it. He was _this_ close," she said, holding up her thumb and forefinger and putting them half an inch apart.

Nathan's eyes were like saucers. _"That _close?"

"Okay, no." Thumb and forefinger were squeezed closer together so that they were touching. "More like this."

"God, no. Then what happened?"

"Then I felt it."

"Ooh. His – uh…" Nathan trailed off, waggling his brows suggestively as he pointed at his groinal area.

"_No, _no. My ring. My wedding ring."

"Eh?"

"I felt it around my finger and suddenly I was hit by this unbelievable sense of guilt. It was a memory of Tomo, and having sex with someone else while wearing it just seemed _wrong…_it's like having him stand there and watch as I do it…y'know?"

"Then why didn't you take it off?"

Tetsuko shook her head. "I simply couldn't. I told Bunny to stop, apologized to him, and that's that. He understood, of course. Sheesh, that idiot can be too understanding for his own good sometimes. I hated myself for doing it. I mean, he's been trying so hard, and I just…well…" She closed her eyes with a sigh, allowing her forehead to drop onto the tabletop with an audible bang. "I'm such an idiot," she mumbled.

"That you are, girl," said Nathan, taking a sip out of his drink. "It never occurred to you to try again now that you're back here?"

"I don't know. Bunny never mentioned it, so I thought that maybe he's put it all behind. Besides, he dated people afterwards, right?"

Nathan made a face. "Half-starved stick insects with brains of a mollusc. _None _that fits his calibre, I can assure you. From the way he goes through each one of them says that he wasn't happy too."

Tetsuko straightened herself up. "Well, at least he's trying to like people again. That's good."

"Stop kidding yourself, Tets. Handsome's single again, so you really should go for it. I'm not undermining your feelings towards your husband, mind you. I'm sure what you had with him then was wonderful. But don't you think it's time that you moved on? Finding someone doesn't mean that you dishonour his memory. Why, if Tomo was here, he'd want you to be happy instead of moping about and making doe eyes at Handsome."

"I do _not_ make doe eyes!" Tetsuko protested loudly.

"Figure of speech, darling," Nathan drawled. "So tell me: what's he like?"

"What's what like?"

"Oh, you know! Barnaby _naked…?" _

"Wha-? You're really asking me this?"

"Go on. I know you're _dying _to tell," Nathan said, quirking his brows suggestively.

Tetsuko smiled despite herself. Her eyes took on a dreamy sheen as she recalled. "Cool, yet hot at the same time. The _real_ him would never waste time with words. He'd prefer to show how he feels. He's like…like the Columbus of sex – always exploring."

"And…?" Nathan said, eagerly leaning forth and placing his elbow on the table, missed, and almost dropped his drink.

"The way he looks at you as if you're the only thing that matters. And he's meticulous. Very meticulous. It's like he's mentally taking notes on what I like and what I don't like. And those hands…ooh. They could make nightingales sing!"

Nathan collapsed against the couch, fanning himself with a napkin. "Ohh, be still my doki doki heart!"

Tetsuko cleared her throat as politely as she could. She had no idea how heartthrobbing her affair was with Barnaby, but apparently it was working wonders on Nathan. "Right," she managed.

"You. You're one lucky woman! D'you have any idea how many girls would _kill _just to see what you saw?"

"Meh. See one naked man and you've already seen the rest. What's the big deal?"

That comment earned a light swat up the back of her head from Nathan.

"Silly Tets!" he exclaimed. "That's _your _problem, right there! You've got a good thing going, yet you throw it away. You'll end up regretting it, trust me."

"I have my reasons. I don't expect you to understand them, but they're mine. Besides, I'd rather worry about Kaede than myself. I really need this job, Nathan. I'm not good at anything else."

"Oh, pshaw. You've had it in the bag right from the beginning. You needn't have to worry."

"What do you mean by that?" Tetsuko asked, eyes narrowing suspiciously.

"Nothing. Hero Academy's _doomed_ if they don't have the Wild Tigress around to show them what's what. Try not to scare your students on the first day, okay?"

"Hah, you kidding me? We're all gonna Roar Wildly!"

"Keep those corny catchphrases to a minimum. They're there to graduate, not flunk."

"They're really that bad?"

"Like a hangnail," said Nathan, nodding sagely as he finished up his drink. _"Call_ him, Tets. Start where you both left off. I know he's been waiting for you to do that."

Tetsuko didn't know how to respond. She couldn't bring herself to tell him that the very thought made her uncomfortable. So she merely shrugged, and gave him a bright smile.

"I don't know," she said. "Maybe you're right. Maybe you're not. I'll just…I don't know."

The vexed look she received from Nathan didn't make her feel any better.

* * *

Episode the next: Kaede's teenage angst, and the Vegeta vs. Kamen Rider debate between Tetsuko and Antonio. Which one does Bunny prefer?


	4. Step 04: That Gents Prefer Voltron Part

"My name is Tetsuko T. Kaburagi, and I'm looking forward to working with you. Please give me guidance," said Tetsuko with a bow.

The Hero Academy director laughed. "My, my. No need to be so formal!" he said, patting her shoulder. "I'm just glad to have a legendary Hero here."

"Ahaha, you're too kind, sir."

"If anything, I should be the one learning from you! More than a decade as the Wild Tigress. I'm positive that you have much to contribute to our school."

"I'm looking forward to that. Thank you for this opportunity, sir."

"Please, call me Timo. Now, I don't know if you're aware, but they've completely revised the syllabus this year. It's more comprehensive, modelled after the latest trends in Heroing business…which of course you're already familiar with. So I don't think you'd have any trouble going through the teaching syllabus."

"T-Teaching syllabus?"

With a wide smile, the director dropped a brick-thick tome onto her unresisting hands. "You need to go through them before starting your class."

Kaede was patiently waiting outside, nose buried inside a copy of 'Treasure Island' when Tetsuko emerged from the director's office.

"Yo, got your first assignment. Read this tonight and tell me what's it all about tomorrow. Preferably in writing. And in point form, using multiple coloured pens," Tetsuko grunted, holding out the teaching syllabus to her daughter.

Kaede swung out of the way. "Why should I? I'm not touching that. Even the cover looks boring!"

"Oi, don't judge a book by its cover! You're a bookworm, are you not? Reading's your thing, yes? Who knows, you might learn to like it once you got past the Introduction page. Besides, I'm preparing you for your future! All of the exam answers are in this thing!"

Kaede snapped her own book shut and resolutely got to her feet. "No. It's your job to take this seriously, and I won't have you cutting corners. Now can we go?"

"We haven't checked out the school yet! Don't you want to see what they've got here?"

"Not really."

"Tch, you're so boring! Well, I'm going anyway, so you're tagging along whether you like it or not."

With that, Tetsuko dragged her daughter around the school compound, marvelling at the track field and Olympic-sized swimming pool. An unimpressed Kaede snorted and muttered that her school's pool was _twice _as big. They'd observed the lab building and Tetsuko recalled a particularly witty tale involving a burette, some undiluted hydrochloric acid, and a bunsen burner which was met with sullen silence. She finally pursed her lips in irritation.

"Alright, Miss Moody. What is it that I did wrong this time?"

"You've repeated that story about a hundred times now! It's _lame!"_

"You might think it's lame now, but once I'm dead you'll wish that you could hear it again and again."

"Don't talk about death like it's nothing, mum. It's never funny, no matter how you say it!"

Tetsuko watched her daughter storm off. She sighed, and looked at the teaching syllabus in her arm.

"Why can't you write something about raising teenagers, huh?" she said.

* * *

Kaede ignored the prickling sensation in her eyes. She hated her mother. She hated how blasé she was when talking about death. Doesn't she understand how terrifying it is? Kaede almost thought her mother was dead at one time…

She reached the family car, leaning against it until she stopped sobbing. She was hanging on to her mother's existence like a limpet. Living with her grandmother had been so _lonely, _and Tetsuko was the only person who really understood what it was like being a NEXT. If she were to die, then-

There's still so many things Kaede wanted to ask her. But of course she wouldn't do it. It isn't cool relying on parents. Her friends told her that. Adults disappoint you all the time. They _lie _to you all the time. But Kaede still felt she needed to cling to her mother's skirt simply because she was always uncertain.

Her phone buzzed. If it's her mother, she'll ignore it, just to show how upset she was.

She brightened up considerably when she saw who was in her inbox.

_Isaac said: Hey, heard you're in town. Feel like meeting up?_

Now smiling through her tears, she began texting.

* * *

"She hates me, you know," Tetsuko moaned. "Every week it's like a stupid game of 'Guess What Mummy Screwed Up Again!' I don't know if I could face another episode of the moodies."

"Uh-huh," Antonio said distractedly. "Dammit, missed. Your turn, princess."

"Tch, how many times must I tell you to _not _call me that?" Tetsuko snapped, chalking her pool cue before slapping the small cube back onto the edge of the table.

"Hahaha! I think it suits you perfectly!"

"Oh, laugh it up, clown. I'll call up Nathan and tell him you're here."

"And have him spoil our bromance fun? No way."

"Hm, didn't know you were _that _scared of him," said Tetsuko, eyeing the layout of the pool balls and bending over to ready her shot. She'd hitched up her pencil skirt slightly and spread her legs to gain better stability, making Antonio appreciate that pool was an excellent sport for women.

"I'm not scared. Just…_worried,"_ he said.

They were both at Bar Tony's, Antonio's favourite watering hole, playing catch up the way only old friends could. They'd ditched their usual brawling session and opted for something more relaxing. Kaede had flatly refused to join them. She'd even scolded her mother for wanting to bring a minor into a bar.

"Bunny's been sending some _bad_ mojo to her. I didn't expect to raise a daughter who's so…so _square! _If you think being a teenager's bad, wait till you become a parent to one," said Tetsuko, straightening up. She'd managed to pocket two balls, and was going for her third.

"You gotta give her time, I suppose," said Antonio. "I know when _I _was a teenager I used to hate my stepmum snooping about my things. Kept thinking I was doing drugs or something."

"You _did_ do drugs," said Tetsuko, taking aim. "Remember that space brownie incident? Someone gave it to you, and before we know it, we were both high as a kite behind the girls' toilet. Luckily nobody caught us."

"Hah! Yeah, I remember. Good times, man. Good times."

"Your turn."

"Try not to stress yourself out, Tetsuko. Just think of it as another phase, and before you know it, she's all grown up and gone into university."

"Please, I don't even want to think about that yet," said Tetsuko with a shudder. "She's been going on and on about how I should find someone who'd take care of me. I mean, seriously? I'm not old enough to do it myself? And did I mention she gave me a rabbit for my birthday? A damned rabbit! I've a strong suspicion that she's hinting something."

"Eh? Rabbit? Why the hell-" Antonio stopped, realization dawning on his face. "Ohh…I get it. Rabbit. Bunny. _Barnaby._ Ha, clever."

"No, it's asinine, that's what it really is."

"Then? Didn't you two hook up during-"

Antonio suddenly found the business end of her cue stick pointed at his face. "I see two words looming in the horizon," she said warningly, "And they'd better be something nice like 'chocolate' and 'cake'. Because if they involve 'cultural' and 'expo' being mashed together, then I _swear_ I'll call Nathan."

"You two did it nonetheless," he said in sulking tones. "No point denying it. What's wrong with him, anyway? I know he's young, but I'd figured that maybe he has some kind of MILF complex-"

"Oi."

"Or maybe you're one of them cougar women-"

"_Oi!" _

"Hey, Wild Cougar. Hehe, geddit?" said Antonio, rubbing his chin and looking self-satisfied as if he'd just solved a space-time conundrum.

Tetsuko took out her phone and began going through her contacts list. "Let's see…Nathan Seymour…"

"Alright! Alright! Sheesh. You can't take an honest joke anymore?"

"No, you're just taking the piss out of me. That's a big difference."

Antonio missed his shot again. Tetsuko's down to her final two balls, while he still had four left. Hopefully she flubbed her turn so that he'd have a better chance of winning. He began thinking of evil ways to distract her.

"You still haven't answered my question. What is it about Barnaby that you have a problem with?" he asked.

Tetsuko leaned against her cue stick as she pondered. "Nothing. He's just like that annoying little brother…you know, the one who keeps following you around, solving Rubik cubes and reading scary stuff like 'Junior Electronics'. You can't hit him too, because your mother thinks he's special and he's gonna win the Nobel Peace Prize or something."

Whatever Jungian philosophy Tetsuko was trying to connect with was lost to Antonio. In his own experience, women always lied about two things: relationships and diets.

"In other words, you're jealous of him?"

"Me? Jealous? _Jealous? _Of that sissy perm head? Ha, you must be joking!"

"Oi, that's a foul! Your cue just touched the white ball!"

"No, it didn't. It just…grazed a bit because it was saying hello! They allow it in El Salvadore!"

"Well, we're not in El Salvadore now, are we? Move aside, princess. It's my turn."

Tetsuko scowled, but conceded. "And stop calling me 'princess'!"

Antonio took his position at the table. Within seconds he managed to pocket one ball. "You're acting just like that dorama chick. She rejects the guy, and when he starts seeing someone else, she gets jealous. And then when some crazy shit happened, like an accident and the guy got amnesia, the chick goes all like: 'Oh, I'm so regretting this whole thing!'. Seriously, why do girls do that all the time?"

"Since when do you follow doramas?"

The burly man actually blushed. It was a disconcerting sight.

"I don't! It's all Agnes's fault. She…she eats the stuff up like you can't believe!"

"Miss Agnes? Eh? How come you're hanging out with her? You two sleeping together or something?"

When he took too long to answer, she prodded his butt with her cue stick, causing him to foul.

"Hey! Careful with that!"

"Well? Are you?"

"Wha-? I-it's nothing like that at all! Maybe it was that one time…during Christmas, I think. She was depressed, and I caught her crying…and things just rolled after that…"

"Please, Antonio. Someone breaks out the waterworks and suddenly you're pity sex material. You gotta start committing, man!"

"Heh, I ain't nothing like you," said Antonio, sheepishly rubbing the back of his neck.

"What's that supposed to mean?"

"You married your high school sweetheart. I mean, does that idea ever exist anymore these days? Who the hell would settle down with their first love? Barring you, of course."

"And what's wrong with that?"

"Nothing. It all just seems so shojo manga-ish."

"Hey, never underestimate the awesome power of shojo love and friendship! That's why I still have my Sailormoon R box set until now!"

"God, don't say that out loud! It's embarrassing!"

"Please, you cried when Tuxedo Mask kissed Usagi during episode 19!"

"No, I didn't! That was episode 23!"

"Hah, see? No wonder my disc 4 went missing! You stole it so you can watch at home! In slow-mo!"

"Don't make baseless accusations. It was Barnaby who took it. I saw it with my own eyes."

"Bunny? No, it can't be. He's more of the Kamen Raider type. He prefers watching gadgets than the actual plot."

"Hmph, that shows just how _much _you know your partner. I know for a fact that he's pro-Vegeta!"

Tetsuko's brow wrinkled at this. "Don't bring no goddamned Dragonball to my dinner table! I wouldn't touch that kiddie show with a ten-foot pole!"

"Vegeta!"

"Kamen Rider!"

"_Vegeta!"_

* * *

The next day Antonio arrived at the gym sporting a black eye and a still bloody lip. Keith's usual chipper 'Good morning' died when the older man brushed past without a word. Even Karina and Pao-Lin stopped their gossiping as they watched him make a beeline towards Barnaby, who was at the bench press machine.

"Oi, Barnaby. You're a Vegeta fan, aren't you?" he grunted out.

Barnaby blinked slowly at the question. "I'm…sorry?"

"Please tell me you are. Or maybe you prefer Kamen Rider? God, I _hate _it when Tetsuko's right! Listen, when you see her, just say you like Vegeta, ok? C'mon, give me face just this once! I've got last night's pool win at stake here!"

Barnaby's lips set itself into a thin line. Whatever abysmal stupidity the universe possessed seemed to be shared equally between both Antonio and Tetsuko. It wouldn't be the first time for him to wonder if his own IQ level would plummet just by being around them long enough.

"The dubious nature of such a question does not warrant an answer from me," he said coolly.

"It's just a tiny favour, man! Sheesh, what's wrong with you?"

"I just don't see why I should be the deciding point of your silly arguments."

"Crapzoid, and she's already on my ass about me stealing her dvds!" Antonio wailed to the ceiling. "Damn you, Tuxedo Mask! _Damn you, _Sailor-bloody-Moon R!"

Barnaby silently watched him fretting and moaning away by himself. He eventually picked up his water bottle, and got to his feet.

"Such matters are trivial," he announced. "Besides, if you went through my profile page, you could easily see that I'm more of a Voltron fan."

* * *

**Episode the next: Tetsuko teaches Kaede the perfect remedy for a broken heart. And, that dreaded meeting with the in-laws. Will our heroine survive?  
**


	5. Step 05: That In-Laws Part

**AN: I cannot thank you guys enough for the reviews. Seriously. The best I can do is update regularly and make Bunny the constant butt of my jokes for your entertainment.**

* * *

Tetsuko prodded dubiously at a shrunken piece of sausage and dissected her sandwich, hoping she'd discover the Lost Kingdom of Mayonnaise between the soggy layers of ham. Her jaw was still smarting from last night. She'd limped home to Kaede, and despite her fantastic act of having just fought off a mugger, the girl merely tsked and started lecturing her about being a more responsible adult. She did, however, produced the first aid kit and patched her up before going to bed.

And now she's gone off with her friends, although Tetsuko had a sneaky suspicion that she was really going on a date. So she was left mooching about on her own, and found herself fetched up inside a street café.

Her phone buzzed, and with eyes still on her food, she took it out and answered without checking the caller ID.

"Yello?"

"Tetsuko-chan."

The former Hero dropped her fork. "Otoo-san." It was her father-in-law.

"How have you been? It's been a while. You hardly call these days, so we were getting worried. Well, okaa-san was…and she'd been pestering me to contact you. Look at her, still sulking in her little corner…haha!"

"Oh-er…I'm sorry! I've been busy lately. I just got a new job offer, and there's been a lot of sorting out to do. Sorry again!"

"That's good! Where are you working now?"

"Hero Academy. But I won't be starting till next week."

"Ah, then you're back in Sternbild?"

"Yes, yes," said Tetsuko, bowing profusely as if the man was in front of her.

"Is Kaede with you?"

"Yes, but she'll be going back to my mother's tomorrow. Her school break's almost over, so…"

"Excellent! We've been thinking of dropping by for a visit! I hope you don't mind…?"

"Eh? What? You're in the city?"

"We've sold the old house. We're living here now. I thought I've mentioned it to you before?"

"Aah, yes. I remember now!" She didn't. "It was during that time, and there was some trouble with the movers, I think?"

There was a gentle laughter at the end of the line. "Tetsuko-chan, it's alright if you don't. I understand that things have been hectic. What are you doing at Hero Academy? I didn't realize they needed an editor there. Are you working on their newsletter?"

Tomo's parents had no idea she was a Hero. She'd told them she wrote for TopMag under a pseudonym.

"They wanted a teacher…er, for their Creative Writing class."

"Really? Well, I suppose superheroes need some sort of hobby. Or maybe they masquerade as a reporter to hide their Hero identity, ahaha!"

"Yes, and when trouble comes, they use a phone booth to change into their costumes!"

"Haha! You've always been a funny one, Tetsuko-chan." Bunkichi Amamiya had always appreciated her sense of humour, which made it easier for them to get along. "Hang on - Momoko, do you want to talk to her?" her father-in-law sounded as if he was addressing someone else. His voice came back to the receiver. "Oh well, she's gone off sulking again. Doesn't matter. We should have a family outing later! Wouldn't that be nice?"

"Er, yeah. I'll be sure to let Kaede know."

"Excellent! See you then!"

Tetsuko hung up. She stared blankly into space, lunch all forgotten. Apparently, 'till death do us part' does not extend to immediate family members, which was why Tetsuko had to face the occasional reunions with Tomo's parents. She could've created a book of excuses, or simply politely decline, but that wouldn't seem right. Kaede's their only granddaughter, and spoiling her rotten was the perogative of any normal grandparent. They still had no clue she's a NEXT as well. Wonder how they'd react to that news if she told them.

Her phone rang again. It was Kaede this time.

"You ready to go home now?"

Tetsuko's grin disappeared when she heard a sob at the other end. "…M-mum!"

Her chair scraped loudly against the floor as she shot up. "Kaede, what's wrong? Where are you now?"

* * *

The public toilet was full. A crowd of cinema goers had flocked over there once their movie had ended. Already there was speculation going around about that locked cubicle in the far end. Sobs could be heard from within, interspersed with tiny whimpers. Some feared a suicide attempt was going on, and a group of schoolgirls were discussing whether they should get the janitor.

Tetsuko pushed her way through the entrance, chanting "Excuse me, excuse me…sorry, tampon emergency…'scuse me…" She headed straight for the sobbing cubicle and knocked at the door. "Kaede, it's me. Open up, please."

There was a sniffle. "A lot of people are outside, aren't there?"

"Well, it _is_ a public toilet. C'mon, let me in. You know how I hate talking to inanimate objects."

A pause, followed by a _click_ as the latch slid aside. Tetsuko entered, locking the door behind her.

Kaede was curled up on the toilet seat, its top down. Balls of crumpled tissue paper littered the floor like a field of dead soldiers. She lifted her head, and Tetsuko felt her heart melt. Her daughter was injured, but only in ways that couldn't be seen. She hunkered down before Kaede, touched her shoulder, and gently asked: "What happened?"

Kaede broke into a fresh wave of tears. She darted forth and hugged her mother.

"Shh, it's ok. Just let it all out. We can stay here the whole day if you want to," Tetsuko said, rubbing her back in soothing circular motions. "Now show me the asshat who did whatever he did and I'll pummel him to pulp."

That earned a bout of strangled laughter from Kaede, although she cried again immediately after that. "Isaac," she managed to sob out.

"Huh? What's an Isaac?"

Kaede let go of her mother and grabbed a fistful of toilet roll. It was almost running out. She blew her nose loudly.

"He's this skater guy I had a crush on. You've rescued him before during the competition years ago."

The vague image of a snivelling blond in her arms floated past Tetsuko's mind. Hmph, she'd never liked the look of that twerp right from the start. "Ah, _that_ Isaac."

"He's been texting me ever since, and yesterday he asked me out with some friends. When I went to meet him, he…he…" Kaede stuttered to a stop. Fat tears began pooling her eyes again, silently rolling down as her lips trembled. "He came w-with a girl…said that they've been going steady for a-a y…year!"

"Oh, Kaede," Tetsuko sighed, hugging her again.

"I should've known," Kaede sobbed. "He said there's somebody he wanted me to meet. I feel so stupid now. She's pretty, you know. Tall and skinny, with great hair. They go to the same school."

"Feh, school romances. They never last. Don't believe those manga nonsense! Suddenly one day she gets knocked up and they have to get married and they end up having ten kids and a huge mortgage. You're much better off without him."

"What's knocked up?"

"Er, it means she gets fat. So bottom line is, great hair isn't everything, ok? So are star skaters. It's like I always say: never trust a guy who prances around in tights."

Kaede frowned. "But," she said, "Barnaby wears tights."

"That's an undersuit! They're completely different!"

Kaede kept on crying. Tetsuko released her, and holding her shoulders, she said: "Hey, you know the best remedy for a breakup?"

_Sniffle. _"What?"

"Shopping. Your grandparents are coming for a visit, and now's the best time to pwn them off their money. You can get those branded stuff you've always wanted. Get them to dress you up real nice, and once Isaac sees you again, he'll realize what a dummy he was for passing you up. Oh, and while we're at it, I'll get some cute guy to take you out." Tetsuko quickly went through her roster of male friends. Keith? Too old. Ivan? Hmm, maybe.

"Please don't say Origami Cyclone, because that'd just be weird."

"Huh? I wasn't about to!"

Kaede wiped her eyes and blew her nose one final time. Discarding the tissue, she fixed Tetsuko with a surprisingly stern, albeit a slightly wet, look. "You're a terrible mother, you know. Teaching her daughter the greed of consumerism at such a young age. I would've expected you to give me a much more spiritual advice about handling heartbreaks."

"Really? Well, um, I could…but I thought it'd just bore you, ahaha!" Tetsuko said, sheepishly rubbing the back of her neck. "Ok, how about _'there's plenty more fish in the sea'?_ No? Why're you staring at me like that?"

* * *

"Hmph, the girl's too skinny! Have you been feeding her at all?"

Tetsuko smiled, although it was a very strained one. She'd been appeasing, or rather – _tried_ to appease – the elderly woman beside her for the past half hour.

She knew that Momoko never approved of her right from the start. In her eyes, she was a street rat, brawling at every chance she's got and lacking any pedigree whatsoever. She'd expected Tomo to choose a refined lady, preferably from an elite school. Tomo was too smart for the likes of Tetsuko, and his mother took every chance she had to drive that point in. Perhaps she was hoping that they'd be divorced by the end of the first year. But when Kaede arrived, his mother took one look at the baby and conceded that maybe Tetsuko was good for one thing after all.

Tomo's passing had given her more ammunition in her crusade against Tetsuko. If only she'd taken better care of him, if only she wasn't career-obsessed, if only she was a _better wife…_a laundry list of 'if only's which undermined the fact that her son was gone, and there's nothing anyone could do about it.

Tetsuko kept telling herself to give it time, but faced with waves of vitriolic hostility everytime she met her mother-in-law was seriously wearing down her patience. The woman may mourn a dead son, but Tetsuko mourned not only a husband, but a best friend and a father.

"Teenagers. They have such endless stamina! They suddenly shoot up like a bean pole and they eat you out of your house! Honestly, okaa-san, Kaede's a black hole when it comes to food," she said.

They were at the teen section in the department store. Kaede excitedly darted through the racks, picking out clothes and showing them to her mother. Upon her approval, she'd dash off to try them out. Tomo's father seemed to have revitalized energy upon seeing his granddaughter. He trotted along behind her, smiling and encouraging her to get anything she wanted. His wife, however, complained about her arthritic feet, which led to her being seated at the bench with Tetsuko as company.

"We've set up a trust fund for her, accessable only when she turns eighteen. I'm sure you never thought of doing that yourself. Have you even bought her life insurance? Don't make the same mistake you did with Tomo!" said Momoko.

"I won't," she said. "I've already made plans of my own."

"You'd better not dream of helping yourself to her money! I will not have her future squandered away by you!"

"Am I really that terrible of a parent?" Tetsuko said half-jokingly. "You needn't worry, okaa-san. Your money is safe from my dirty hands."

"Hmph, giving me lip as always. And what about you? Are you living a proper life? Not fooling around with other men, are you? It'd be a shame if Kaede were to see her mother still gallivanting around as if she's still an unmarried woman. You should be aware that men aren't interested in taking widows as wives, especially one with children. You'd more likely end up as a rich man's mistress."

"Heh, there goes my chances of bagging a sugar daddy."

"Must you insist on joking about everything?" snapped her mother-in-law. "When are you ever serious?"

"I am serious. I've been serious for a very long time. It's just that you're either too stupid or too proud to see it. I'm just a bad dream you can't wake up from, because if I were to ever go away, I'd take Kaede with me, and you can't have that. You're nothing but a lonely old woman, okaa-san."

God, how Tetsuko wished she could say that, just to see how Momoko would react. Instead, she bowed slightly and smiled. "I'm sorry. I shall refrain myself in future."

* * *

Nathan sighed, leaning his chin into his hand. The production manager was arguing with him – _again – _over the choice of music. Honestly, he couldn't understand why he still kept that man. What's the point of running a club when you can't even listen to what you like?

"No, no, no," he said for the umpteenth time. The music promptly stopped. "See, first you sidestep, then twirl, _then_ wriggle your ass. They're all basic moves! How can you still not get it?"

"But I think it's better if they wriggle first, then twirl. It messes up with the whole timing if we did it your way," said the production manager.

"Don't you get it? It's all in the aesthetics! First we build up anticipation, and then we go for the climax! If you show the ass first, what's the point of having them strip in the first place? Ooh, I'm getting a headache. Take five, everyone!"

He collapsed in his seat, massaging his temples. The production manager and him clearly had different visions when it came to creating an ultimate Masurao Boys show. He'd been pushing for a retro funk feel, and the yet the production manager insisted on bringing in some trashy techno nonsense he'd claimed to be the latest fad among the youngsters.

The sound of a straw slurping the bottom of a glass reminded him of his guest. He turned towards Ivan, who'd been observing the stage with some detached interest.

"If you ask nicely, I could get you in with the Masurao boys," said Nathan. "I'm sure you'd be a far better performer than these deadbeats I've been unfortunate enough to waste my money on."

"I think they're rather exciting to watch, de gozaru," said Ivan. "And, after coming here for the second time, I can see how nicely you've made this place out, de gozaru" he added, indicating the altogether pink, purple and gold interior. It was like being inside a cabaret dancer's dress – all glitter and sequins.

"Why, that's very kind of you. Not that I don't appreciate you coming here, darling…but the club's not open for another two hours, and I'm still going through rehearsals."

"Oh, I won't bother you, I promise. I'm just here for the lemonade, de gozaru."

"Ah? So Sky High's finally got to you, huh? Honestly, that man finds the nicest things inside the strangest of places."

"I hardly take lemonade, de gozaru. But I think this is rather delicious. I hope you don't mind too much of me being here, de gozaru."

"Of _course_ I don't mind," Nathan said, waving a hand airily. "Business is business after all. But you'd have to forgive me. I'm feeling a little brokenhearted right now."

"B-brokenhearted?"

Nathan nodded. "A woman's heart is like butterfly wings, Ivan. Beautiful, yet delicate. One wrong touch and it's ruined forever."

"I see. Then I think it's best that we leave it alone, de gozaru."

"Hey, how can you say such things!" Nathan exclaimed, lightly swatting the boy's shoulder. "Would you ignore a woman's cry for help, especially if she's your friend?"

"My apologies," said Ivan a tad sheepishly. "Are you talking about yourself, Nathan-san?"

"No, I'm talking about Tetsuko! She may be quick on a lot of things, but romance is certainly not one of it."

"Ah, so there is someone that she likes?"

"Hm hmm…" said Nathan, placing a finger over his lips and winking at Ivan. "But you didn't hear it from me. I have it in good authority to confirm that he is quite the doki doki hunk!"

"It must be Rock Bison! I always see them together…but, I never imagined that they'd be dating, de gozaru."

Nathan sighed. Of all the dense people he could be talking to, it _had _to be Ivan. Still, he could've had it worse. If it were Keith, he would've meandered about the topic like a concussed goldfish. Forget about tangents. That man could blow the entire Pythagoras Theorem completely out of the water.

"No, it's not Rock Bison. It will _never_ be Rock Bison, no matter how many fanfictions were ever written about them."

"Oh? Then this person does not know of her feelings? Maybe she's too shy to express it, de gozaru."

"Huh, shy isn't the problem here. I tell you, it's like watching glaciers mate! She's been wasting her time in denial. Some action should be happening by now!"

"Ahah! I know just the thing!"

"Ivan, the Lock-them-up-in-a-room-and-see-what-happens trick is an overly used plot device. It's redundant! It'll never work!"

"No, I have something even better. It brings people together and promotes healthy two-way communication! Even the most socially awkward can join in the fun. There'll be games, and karaoke. I've always wanted to go to one, de gozaru."

"What are you talking about?"

"And maybe, romance will blossom by the end of the night! They have rules about these things, too…so girls will never have to worry about being stalked or harassed," said Ivan, punching his fist into his other hand as if he's come to a conclusion.

"Ah, I think we're getting somewhere here," said Nathan hopefully.

"She should attend a gokon!"

"A… a what..?"

* * *

Disclaimer: Nathan's opinion is his and his alone. He may be opposed to the idea of Bison and Tigress together, but I'm all for the best-friends-but-maybe-more? approach ;-) If you don't know what a gokon is, it's a group date. And yes, there's a high possibility of karaoke.

**Episode the next: A man from Nathan's past, Karina reveals her unsurprising hatred towards Bunny, and Tetsuko pays Saito a late night visit. Why is she bringing her rabbit along?**


	6. Step 06: That Unexpected Confession Part

**AN: I've been scouring the drama CD translations, and I can't quite figure out whether the name of Nathan's ex is McEnroy, McEnroe or Marcero. So I'd just go for McEnroy simply because it sounds more rugby-like ;p I also added minor adjustments to the previous chapter. Gave Tomo's parents proper names. I can't keep on referring to them as 'the in-laws'.**

* * *

Weekday nights were always slow, and the ones that would usually trickle into the bar at this hour were the lonely salarymen types, weary after being marooned to their computers the whole day. There was the occasional character the bartender would imagine to be part of the hard-boiled detective class, but it certainly wasn't the haggard woman in a newsboy cap demanding for something that was 'stronger than water, but non-alcoholic'.

The bartender tentatively placed a glass of soda in front of her. She took a sip, made a face, and thanked him. He scurried off to attend to the only other customer: a burly executive on his third helping of scotch.

Tetsuko swiveled around in her seat, turning to look at the performer on the stage. She raised her glass in a formal salute when the singer noticed her. She faced the bar again, sighing tiredly. Meeting her in-laws was always a draining experience. At least Kaede got something out of it. Tetsuko imagined that facing a dragon would be a far more rewarding experience than this. Maybe it's time she put her foot down and tell Tomo's father she was busy the next time he wanted to come over for a visit. Oh, but she simply can't bear the disappointed tone he'd use if she ever did that.

She felt trapped, boxed in by the unreasonably traditional view Momoko wanted to impose on her. Were her choices really that limited? Either she lived the remainder of her life alone, or saddle up with a rich man who'd see her as nothing more than a mistress. What would happen to Kaede's future then? She wanted her daughter to get a proper education, but with her current middle-class economical state, she wasn't sure what options she could offer Kaede. Naturally, Muromasa wouldn't hesitate to help if she asked, but then he'd have their mother to support too…

Another glass of soda was placed before her.

"Compliments from the gentleman," said the bartender, nodding towards the executive when she looked at him quizzically.

"Ah, so kind," she said, but didn't touch the drink. She smiled at her mysterious benefactor just to be polite, which turned out to be a mistake. He took it as an invitation, gathered his things, and began making his way to her end of the bar.

Tetsuko groaned. Of all the times to be hit on! He'd better not use some corny pickup line or he'll feel her foot up his ass!

"Mind if I join you?" he asked. A wave of his cologne drifted over her: cheap, almost sporty - no doubt bought from the bargain aisle of a convenience store – interspersed with a hint of cigarette smoke. It was a very Antonio-like smell, and in an instant Tetsuko knew what type of man he was.

"I do, actually," she said.

"Oh, I'm sorry. I thought just now you were- here, would it be better if I introduced myself? I'm McEnroy. Oliver McEnroy. And you are…?"

"Tetsuko."

"Tet-suko? Did I pronounce that right? Nice to meet you."

His handshake was firm. Tetsuko resisted the urge to wipe her palm on her clothes the minute he released it.

"You seem very familiar, Tetsuko," he said, perching himself onto the stool beside her. "I'm sure I've seen you somewhere."

"Ahaha…I doubt it. I have a very forgettable face."

"You come here often?"

Onstage, Karina snuck a glance towards Tetsuko. Her brow quirked when she saw her cozying up with a someone. Hmph, for someone who'd held herself out for years, she sure was fast when it came to scoring with a total stranger. Judging from his looks, he doesn't seem like a good catch, but Karina supposed that women of a certain age had no choice but to take whatever's in front of them.

McEnroy had positioned himself so that his knee bumped lightly against Tetsuko everytime he moved. "I come here sometimes," he said. "They have great performances. That singer over there? She's good. Doesn't know a lot of oldies, though. A pity. Love her voice, though. You listen to pop music a lot, Tetsuko?"

"Look, I'm just going to cut through the chase here," Tetsuko said. She was tired, and the last thing she wanted was to spend her evening being plied on with false compliments. "Okay, number one: are you married?"

McEnroy looked momentarily nonplussed. "Er…no. Divorced."

"Got kids?"

"A daughter. Hey-"

"Are you rich? How much do you make in a year?"

"I hardly think that's any of your business!"

"Ballpark 40, 50k per annum? It can't be more than that…otherwise you'd be able to afford a better cologne. See – I'm married," she said, holding up her left hand to show her wedding band, "and I've a teenage daughter. She happened to be the one on that stage."

McEnroy was still goggling at Karina when Tetsuko continued. "I'm sure you're a really nice guy, Oliver. But I'm not interested. Sorry. Thank you for the drink, but I don't accept freebies from total strangers. I even give back pamphlets handed to me at shopping malls. So, if you'll excuse me, I'd really like to be excused." With that, she vacated her seat, picked up her drink, and strode towards the stage. Karina was playing the final notes of her piece when Tetsuko went up, placed her glass on the piano and said rather nonchalantly: "Bar's kind of crowded tonight. Mind if I hang with you?"

Karina levered a glare at her as she leaned over and said the microphone: "Thank you. And good night." Switching the thing off, she said, "It's rude to interrupt a performance, even when I'm about to finish."

"Who's going to notice?" Tetsuko asked, indicating the empty bar lounge. "Save for the gorilla who just hit on me, of course."

"Did he use a corny pick-up line? I'll freeze his underpants if he does."

"Ha! You can do that from here? That's brilliant!"

Karina began gathering her music sheets. "When's you new job starting?"

"Next week."

"Hmph, I'd imagined that you'd be cosying up with Barnaby by now. You two are practically Siamese twins."

"Please, if I were to share the same womb with him, I'd hang myself with my own umbilical cord."

That earned a thoughtful pause from Karina. She chuckled. "So you still think he's an asshole, huh? You know, he insulted me during my radio show…and the worse part is, I don't even know how he did it. My producer loved him, though. Kept insisting that he should come again. Maybe I could squeeze you in as well. Do a special interview. That way, his presence is at least a tad bearable."

"Come on. You're seriously going to listen to the ramblings of a washed-up Hero?"

"Oh, you're talking about Barnaby, right?"

"Hah, funny. Hey, I need a favour," Tetsuko said, pulling up something she'd brought along with her. It was a Baby Rose tote bag. "Could you sign this for Kaede?"

It seemed as if the most effective rule for marketing to tweens was to slap on the word 'Baby' on any brand name. Then the mad stampede begins as girls of varying age would plead, cajole, and even threaten their parents to get something that makes them look like lolita prostitutes. But Tetsuko had to admit: Blue Rose's line of accessories had a certain classy appeal to it. Even the stylized rose logo was nice. She hoped that the designer responsible for it was paid really well.

"She loves your stuff," Tetsuko said a tad sheepishly as she produced a marker pen from her pocket. "Was hoping for me to butter you up nicely so that she could get freebies."

Karina smiled, taking the pen. She autographed the bag, taking great care to write Kaede's name in bold letters. No doubt that girl will be the envy of her friends after this. "You know, there's a new range of accessories I'm planning to unveil in conjunction with the release of my album. We're talking about top of the range stuff, never before seen by the public. I could hook you up with a set-"

"Hey, that's great!"

"-only if you agree to go live on my show. What do you say? You could talk about your new career, your future plans. You could even dish out the dirt on Barnaby if you want. Hah, I'd like to see his face when you do that."

"Aw, Karina. That's really nice of you. But seriously? I'm done with Hero stuff."

"Think of it as a way to reach out to your fans again. I know they're still out there, and they want to see you both make another public appearance. Besides, interviewing you would be better than me reading out the horrible scripts my boss prepared. Have you listened to the Midnight Ice Cream before?"

"Um, yeah. Once."

"And what do you think of it? Come on, be honest."

"Um-"

"Well?"

"Those lines they made you say? Well they make you sound like a dominatrix on phone sex."

Karina gaped. "How crass! I can't believe you'd actually say that!"

"You wanted me to be _honest. _What do you expect? But, knowing Bunny, he'd probably say something nice about you on air, right?"

"Hah, you wish. How is it that you manage to be in the same room with him without wanting to murder him?"

"It's a skill, I guess. One that takes years to develop."

"Hmph. Of course you'd say that. You're probably the only person on earth who could stand being with him, because you're like his waifu or something. I'm surprised you're not bringing him bento lunches now that you're retired."

"Wha-? Hey, our relationship is _nothing_ like that!" Tetsuko exclaimed. She suddenly had a vision of herself in a housewife apron, waddling over to Bunny's office and presenting him with a box of onigiri rice balls festooned with smiley faces and heart-shaped sprinkles. Hm, she might actually do that, just to embarrass him.

"Suit yourself. Just because you say it isn't, the fact is, everyone sees you both that way. Frankly, I don't care. Give that moron someone he can piss off and abuse, but that person is definitely not me. Face it, Tetsuko. You're stuck with Barnaby for the rest of your life, so let's make the most of it by appearing on my show. Come on, it'll be fun."

Tetsuko said nothing. She leaned over to unhook the microphone, turning it on before saying: "Test…test…1, 2, 3…"

Karina rolled her eyes. "Quit horsing around. I _work_ here!"

"Wow, so this is how I sound like on the mic," Tetsuko grinned, hearing her voice bounce and reverberate throughout the room. The bartender was giving them funny looks. "Tigress in da house, yo! Let's all roar wildly! Wiki…wiki…" she went on by making turntable noises.

Karina stood up and snatched the microphone from her. "Will you stop that!" she said crossly. "If there's one other thing I can't stand, it's your childish antics! I'm not joking!"

Tetsuko laughed. "Come on, a bit of fun never harmed anyone. You kids are always so serious. Before you know it, you're old and you start to wonder what happened to your youth. Such a waste."

"Well, unlike you, _we_ have to work!"

"Work never ends, Karina. Not unless if you're dead. You've always complained that your boss never let you be yourself. Well, how are you going to _find_ yourself if you're uptight all the time? You're…what? Eighteen? You've spent your entire adolescence pleasing idiots in monkey suits. Don't you think it's time for you to consider what you really want? Take a sabbatical. Go and see the world. You might end up wanting to open a spa in a holiday resort, but that's okay…because it's _you_ making that decision."

"Hah, that's easy for a retired Hero to say!"

"Don't get burned out. That's all I'm saying. Right now you're tied up by what your sponsors want you to be. You should remember that you're replacable. So instead of making other people feel important, you should make yourself important first."

Karina stared. "Okay, since when has this become a pep talk for me? I was supposed to be scolding you!"

"Well, get in line. Right now I've got Kaede, Bunny and Nathan on the waiting list."

"You're appearing on the Midnight Ice Cream. I don't care if my producer disapproves. I'll _make _him agree to it. How's that for being myself, huh?"

Tetsuko started to sweat. "Er, that's not exactly what I meant! Um-"

"Freebies," Karina said in wheedling tones. "You're desperate to impress Kaede, are you not? She's always saying how lame you are. Plus-" she leaned forward, and in the same confident manner as someone putting down an ace card over a royal flush, said: "I'll throw in a free CD pack, all autographed by me."

Tetsuko sighed. She knew defeat when she saw it.

* * *

It was 2 am, and Kaede couldn't sleep because of 'The Tigress and Bunny Mix Tape'.

But what really piqued her interest was the 'Do Not Show This To Anyone EVER'.

It was a DVD she'd discovered while snooping about her mother's things. It fell, completely by accident, from the old Hero Magazine she'd been flipping through. She'd briefly contemplated on slipping it back in when she hesitated. Having a 'Do Not' label on anything made it a veritable Pandora's Box, and anyone with a healthy dose of curiosity would _naturally _want to open it just to see what the fuss was all about.

And now, she was seated at the living room, waiting for the player to load. Her mother's gone out again, doing goodness knows what. She'd mentioned that she was seeing some friends. As far as Kaede was concerned, she couldn't care less if her mother's off capering over the rooftops, but she'd better not forget that she has to wake up early tomorrow to get to the train station.

The tv screen flickered. Her mother's face appeared, looking uncertainly at her.

"_This thing recording already?" _she asked. _"Ah, yes. See the red dot blinking. Ok, so as of today, I'm o-ff-i-cially retired. Kampai!" _She raised an unsteady arm, holding up a beer can as she toasted the screen. She obviously did this recording on Barnaby's computer. Kaede recognized that hibiscus wallpaper in the background.

"_Oi, Bunny! Get your ass here! Imma interview you." _

Barnaby appeared, looking just as sloshed as her. He unceremoniously nudged her off the chair. _"Careful, you might spill over my keyboard," _he slurred.

Unperturbed, her mother got up and seated herself on his lap. _"Tell us how you feel about your partner's retirement, Mr. Brooks." _

"_If I can express from the bottom of my heart," _said Barnaby, wrapping his arms about her waist, _"I'd say bloody good riddance. No more nagging. No more pestering. And I can now have the newspaper all to myself. Thank God for that." _

"_Kampai!" _her mother cheered, chugging down her beer. _"Let's sing a song together!" _

"_What's the first thing you'll do once you get back?"_

"_Hmm, excellent question. I guess I'd sleep the whole day and only wake up for dinner. Hah, I haven't done that in a loooong time!" _

"_So here's to you no longer being an annoyance in my life."_

"_Kampai!"_

"_Wait…it's not banzai, right?"_

"_That's completely unrelated, Bunny!"_

"_Right. So, cheers, then…" _

The recording ended. Kaede snorted. Just two minutes of nonsense? What a waste of DVD space! She grabbed the remote and was about to press the 'eject' button, when the screen flickered again. This time Barnaby appeared. He seemed to be alone. The time stamp showed a date two days after the first recording.

He chugged on a bottle of wine, hiccupped, and stared blearily at the screen.

"_Kaburagi," _he intoned. _"I hate you." _

Kaede almost dropped the remote.

"_I hate you for leaving me alone. I hate how you've stopped calling me in the middle of the night. I hate that annoying way you chew your straws. Moreover, I hate everything about you simply because you exist. It's easier to hate you because the opposite is rather unfortunately true._

He set the bottle on the table and leaned his forehead against it. _"Bloody hell, Kaburagi. Why? The only thing worse than being in Sternbild is the fact that you're not here. You're the only real friend I've ever had. I…I lo-" _

He stopped, biting his lip. _"I can't say it," _he muttered. A ruddy tint stained his cheeks as he uttered the next three words with the earnestness of a man beseeching the heavens: _"Please come back." _

For a moment, Kaede felt as if Barnaby was staring straight at her. This wasn't play-acting. This was him stripped to the core, and his eyes showed such sadness, such vulnerability that Kaede felt moved to hug the television.

He suddenly stirred, then groaned. _"God, I think I'm going to vomit. Brooks over and out." _

Kaede found herself staring at the blue screen for a long time.

* * *

Saito was waiting for Tetsuko at the foyer, hands in his lab pockets and looking slightly annoyed as if she'd interrupted him from something important.

"Wild Tigress," he said, then added: "What is that?"

"Your new company mascot!" Tetsuko said, lifting up the cage. "Rabbit, meet Saito. Saito, meet rabbit."

The man adjusted his glasses as he bent over for a closer look. "Ah, so it is. But why bring him?"

"Animal accessories are the in thing these days, no? Remember that whatzisface Hilton girl and her pet chihuahua in her bag? Don't know what she'd do if the thing did its business, which is why I'm keeping him in his cage."

"I do not waste my time watching frivolous news. Come."

"You seem to be in a bad mood," said Tetsuko, following him to the elevator. "I did ask if this was a bad time for you."

"Whatever world crisis I am attempting to avert pales in comparison to the mission of rescuing you from a terrifying book."

"Ahaha…well, you know reading's not my thing," Tetsuko said with a lopsided grin.

"From what I've gathered about you throughout these years, a _lot_ of things aren't your thing."

"Come on, Saito. Have you _seen _the teaching syllabus? It's written like an aeronautics manual, full of boring diagrams and – get this - four-syllabled _words! _There's even a whole chapter on how a NEXT should properly activate their powers. How oblivious do they think the students are going to be?"

"I suppose they still have to cover the basics. Not everyone may get it, you know."

"Oh? Then how's this: did you know a Hero could be sued for interrupting a suicide attempt? I almost wanted to rip the bloody book to shreds! How'd things become so damned complicated? What's a Hero to do, then? Wait until somebody's jumped off the building and then call the police? Whoever wrote this syllabus _clearly_ wasn't a Hero, and had no idea what it's like to be one."

"Perhaps you should demand a full rewrite, then."

They'd reached the subterranean lab floor. Saito flashed his keycard, punched in the code, and went through the biometrics scanning before they were allowed inside.

"New security system, I see," Tetsuko commented.

"A necessary evil," Saito sighed. "You can't be too careless about these things. They change the code everyday."

"Wow, so you can't really use your pet's name, or the first high school you've been to. That's tough."

They passed the server room, a glass-encased area under constant environmental control. Tetsuko had been in there once, and came out wishing she'd brought her winter jacket along.

"Nice to you see you haven't changed the party room," she said. "Did I tell you I hate your decorating skills? Everything's so _white. _What's wrong with adding a few colours here and there, eh?"

Saito gave her a Look. "I like it as it is," he stated, pushing a button. His office door hissed aside, and they entered. Inside, the area was less organized, the clutter showing evidence of its owner burning the midnight oil.

"What're you working on now?" Tetsuko asked, setting down the rabbit cage and curiously bending over a stack of blueprints on the table. There were a few strips of new wristcoms scattered at the side. She pocketed one when Saito wasn't looking.

"A new prototype for Bunny's suit. You do realize that everything you see in here is top secret?"

"Oh, please. Don't give me that government conspiracy crap. Even if I did wanted to sell you out, I can't even begin to make head nor tail out of your notes. What's all this stuff about gold titanium alloy? You can make armour out of gold? No wonder Lloyds is always up my ass everytime I messed up my suit. The insurance alone would've cost a fortune!"

"Gold has been used on spacesuits, you know. It helps filter out the sun's rays."

"Seriously? Wow. Imagine someone coming up with a line of eyewear on that. You'd get bling, and style too!"

"Bunny's been giving me some input on the specs. That boy's a natural talent when it comes to technical engineering. Runs in the family, I suppose."

"Yep, that's our Bunny. Always good at everything he does."

"Do I detect irony, Wild Tigress?" said Saito with a smile. "Haven't you two been catching up lately?"

"Not really. He's busy, and so am I…bumming about."

"I believe he's still in the office. If you want, you can-"

"No, let's not disturb him. Is that his note right there? Huh, yes. I'd recognize that chicken scrawl anywhere." Contrary to popular belief, Barnaby's handwriting was an untidy mess. Tetsuko tilted her head to make sense of his sentences. "Al-alumina cenamic? Oh, it's ceramic. Ceramic? My mug's made out of that stuff, and it chips like nobody's business in the dishwasher! He's honestly planning on putting that on his suit?"

"It's a different kind. Let's just say it's not the type you'd use to get your usual dose of morning java."

"Ah, I know this: kevlar. And…diamond shards and bark spider silk…? Ahaha, what is he trying to make: _elf_ armour? This isn't Dragon Quest. You don't kill monsters to get upgrade material for your weapons."

"Actually, bark spider silk weave is ten times stronger than kevlar. And it's much lighter too."

"For real? Huh…amazing what you scientists can discover." Tetsuko moved away from the table and began exploring the rest of his office. She spotted her old suit, locked in a display case. "Whoa, still looks as if I only took it off yesterday!" she exclaimed. "See, there's still that dent when I dinged the subway stair railing. Man, just looking at this brings tears to my eyes!"

"We never changed anything. Mr. Lloyds wanted me to strip it off and use the components on Bunny's suit."

"But you didn't let him?"

"No. _Bunny _didn't allow it. Was rather firm about it too. I would've taken it apart in a heartbeat. Spare parts are still spare parts, after all."

"You didn't feel the slightest bit nostalgic without me around?"

"No," said Saito, grinning.

"Huh. Wonder what happened to my old Chaser."

"Ah, about that. We've rolled out a new model right before you made your untimely decision to quit. Sadly, without anyone to test drive her, she's been sitting in the workshop ever since."

Tetsuko's eyes were gleaming. "Show me," she breathed.

She was covered by a sheet of tarpaulin, dormant like a sleeping dragon. Saito pulled it off, revealing her gleaming white and green bodywork, the Wild Tigress decals, and the sheer wickedness of power hidden within composite aluminium casing.

"Water-cooled 4 stroke 4 cylinder InLine engine, four titanium valves per cylinder, with two overhead camshafts," said Saito as Tetsuko straddled the bike. "Digital Engine Electronics system, with a dynamic damping control…which means that the Chaser adapts to the terrain, regardless of weather, thus optimizing wheel traction."

"Ooh, keep talking dirty to me, Saito. I think I just orgasmed."

The tech engineer adjusted his glasses and gave her an affronted look. He was selling off the finer points of his creation and Tetsuko had to spoil it with her usual stupid remarks.

"Goes from zero to sixty mph within 2.5 seconds. But, as I've said before, lack of a tester meant that I cannot corroborate that. Hey, what are you-"

The engine roared to life. Tetsuko caressed the handles before gripping it.

"Come on, Saito. Let's take her out for a bit."

Saito's jaw dropped. "You – you can't just do that!"

"I think she's been cooped up inside for long enough. Besides, you need someone to prove that speed theory of yours. That'll give you more bragging points to give Lloyds, and he'd be so happy he'll increase your R&D budget! And probably throw in a brand new espresso machine too."

"I only take decaf," Saito said distractedly. "But you're not authorized to ride this. I could get in trouble!"

"Which is why you should come along. You're the person in charge. Don't you want to see what your baby can do? C'mon, I'll take her round the block and back again. Nobody will notice!"

Saito stared doubtfully from her, to the Lonely Chaser, and eventually, towards the massive roller doors at the far end of the workshop.

"You built a million-dollar speed machine only to have it spend the rest of its lonely life beneath a tarpaulin? Tsk tsk. How sad," said Tetsuko, looking extremely vexed.

She waited, then added a sniffle for good measure.

"Oh, very well. But only around the block, you hear me?"

She grinned.

* * *

**Episode the next: Tetsuko takes the Lonely Chaser out for a joyride! Eh? Why is Bunny after her? Will this be that 'tender, loving doki doki' moment? A Tetsuko and Bunny scene.  
**


	7. Step 07: That Joyride Part

Barnaby sat back in his swivel chair, taking off his glasses and pinching the bridge of his nose. He'd been staring at spreadsheets the whole day, and the endless march of columns was starting to make him see double. Maybe it's time he called it a night.

His eyes fell on the desk beside him. His mind immediately conjured up images of its previous occupant, snoring over the keyboard when she was supposed to finish up the expenses report. Tetsuko was a person who'd always mark her territory, and even now he could still see the crude cartoons scrawled over the wooden surface and the scratches done with an x acto knife she'd stolen from the Design Department.

Years ago, a fan had sent her a chibi drawing of them together, along with the caption 'World's Cutest Couple' at the bottom. She'd been so excited about it that she had it scanned and printed out. The copy was now framed up beside his computer, along with a photograph of them during the awards ceremony of her final year as Hero. She'd looked beautiful then, having discarded her mask and actually dressed up for the occasion. But that still didn't stop her from pulling a stupid duck face and flashing a V sign right before the photo was taken.

Barnaby didn't consider himself an overly sentimental man, but with her he'd developed a somewhat tender spot. After she left, he'd found himself haunting all the places they've been to together, even that sleazy karaoke bar she'd claimed to have the best mixed nuts in the entire city. That was, of course, a highly debatable issue.

But the point was he missed her. So much that he'd time and again fought the crazy urge to drive down to Oriental Town and surprise her. Actually, he didn't know what he'd do if he actually went ahead with that plan. He'd probably be so overcome with emotion and burst into tears the minute she opened the door. Hah, what a romantic end for Sternbild's most desirable man.

Hidden within the pages of his daily planner were more random scribbles by her, including a well-preserved game of hangman they'd secretly played together during a particularly boring staff meeting. Out of a crazy whim, she'd written down a line of kanji characters in one corner, claiming that they're his name in Japanese.

He smiled to himself. There's absolutely no question what he'd take out first if his apartment were ever on fire.

He briefly wondered what she was doing right now. Probably asleep, probably up watching movies, all curled up on the sofa in her nightclothes. So long as she's safe, then he had little reason to worry.

As he exited the car park, he seemed to notice a very familiar four-wheel drive. He shook his head, blaming fatigue for making him imagine things. That can't be Tetsuko's car parked inside Apollon Tower. She had no reason to be here anymore.

The thought alone brought a maudlin pang over him. Maybe he should call her. Take her out for coffee. Do normal friend stuff. She's probably wondering by now why he hadn't contacted her. He didn't want her to think that he's giving her the cold shoulder. Quite the contrary. He was actually getting cold _feet._ Nervous at the thought of dialling her number only to end up being wired to voicemail. Or, even worse, her picking up and saying his name.

He stopped at a red light and took out his phone. He stared dumbly at the cover as if expecting it to reveal some deep secrets of the universe. He eventually flipped it open and started scrolling for her name. _Man up, Brooks, and just call her. Or maybe it's too late for that. Alright, a text message, then. How hard can it be? _

He vaguely registered the guttural whine of a high-powered motorcycle rolling up behind him. It stopped beside him, the deep bass purr of its engine reverberating even through his car. Feh, just another dumb kid on a flashy bike he can't handle.

Barnaby snapped his phone shut in irritation. The noise made it impossible for him to think. He glared at his neighbour, and immediately did a double take.

Somebody was on the Lonely Chaser, and although its head was covered by the Wild Tigress helmet, there's no mistaking that familiar green shirt and vest ensemble. Saito was clinging to her waist, wearing an expression of pure, abject terror. His eyes met Barnaby's, and he mouthed the words 'Bunny-chan' before the lights turned green and Tetsuko whooped, gunning the engine and whizzing off like a bullet, leaving behind a trail of smoke and middle-age crisis.

Barnaby pursed his lips and floored the accelerator.

* * *

Tetsuko dodged through traffic like a silverfish. She skated past corners, tilting the bike low enough for her knee to almost scrape the asphalt. She did wheelies, she raced with a Kawasaki Ninja and almost caused a three-car pileup; and slowly but surely Saito was having a heart attack.

Barnaby was getting increasingly irritated as he sped up after her. Just what the hell does she think she's doing? The Lonely Chaser's company property. If she crashes it, she'll get sued! He swerved around a trundling Honda Accord, ignored the angry honking behind him, and shifted down to second gear. He spotted her turning off to Exit 353, and followed.

Exit 353 was actually a section of unfinished highway, and it was blockaded by stone barriers. Tetsuko had stopped there, straightening up to take off the helmet. She shook her hair free, grinning widely as she punched the air.

"Whoo-hoo! Never thought I'd miss this thing!" she said. "Saito, you can stop screaming now."

A pair of headlights swung over them.

"The police," Saito whimpered. "Oh, the police. We'll get fined and I'll be in deep trouble."

"Calm down, it's not the police! It's just some punk probably taking his girlfriend out for a makeout session."

The car cruised to a stop before them. A rather cross Barnaby killed the engine and leapt out, striding quickly towards her. "Honestly, Tetsuko. Can't you stay away from mischief for once?"

"Bunny, is that you? Who would've thought you'd be here too! Er, how'd you know where to find me?"

He held out a hand, beckoning firmly with his fingers. "Get off, _now,"_ he said in tones that demanded complete obedience. "You have no right to use the Lonely Chaser anymore. And Saito, you've should've known better than to allow her to ride it!"

Saito had slid off the bike, treading gingerly as if to make sure that the ground wasn't shaking.

"Sheesh, keep your panties on, Bunny! It's not like I broke the damned thing!" Tetsuko said, tossing the helmet towards her ex-partner. She flipped down the kickstand and swung her leg around. She, however, in complete defiance to his order, remained seated on the bike. "You've got to admit. I'm still in great form back there."

"No, you weren't. Your response time is off by five seconds. You almost got run over by an eighteen wheeler! Now I know I can't stop you from doing your foolhardy stunts, but I have to draw the line when you start dragging the company and Saito down with you. For God's sake, just _think _for a second before you do anything, Tetsuko! Not everything is fun and games, you know."

"Yeah, I bet you'd know _plenty_ about that, Bunny-I'm-A-Party-A-Minute!"

Barnaby sighed. This could go on the whole night. "Saito, you take the Chaser back to the lab," he said, handing the helmet over to the tech engineer. "I'll send Tetsuko home."

Both Tetsuko and Saito protested at the same time.

"Hey, that's not fair! At least let _me_ do it!"

"Wh-what, m-me? I-I-I…!"

"It shouldn't be too hard. Just turn on the Auto-Navi system and it'll practically drive itself. You should know. You built it, remember?" said Barnaby.

"T-t-t…I can't ride a bike!"

"You'll be fine."

Tetsuko hopped to her feet. "Ooh, I've a better idea. How about you take Saito in your car while I-"

"Out of the question," Barnaby said firmly, giving her a hard glare.

"But _my_ car's back at Apollon! No matter how you want to put it, I'd still have to get there. C'mon, don't do this to me, Bunny. I need to drive Kaede to the train station tomorrow morning."

"I will pick you two up tomorrow, then. It's already late, Tetsuko, and your house is nearer from here."

Tetsuko's shoulders sagged, and she slunked her way to his car, muttering, "…so anal over a couple of extra kilometres…fussypot…"

Barnaby gave Saito a curt nod, then turned to follow her.

Saito nervously fiddled with the glowing controls, and shouted out after them: "Hey, how'd you point this thing the other way?"

* * *

A heavy silence enveloped them the minute Barnaby entered the highway traffic. He glanced sideways. Tetsuko was curled away from him, staring glumly out the window.

He cleared his throat. "I'm sorry. I was rather…short with you just now. But that really was irresponsible of you, you know."

He waited, and when it doesn't seem like Tetsuko was going to reply, he went on: "I've actually been wanting to call you for days now. Don't ask me why…but I was kind of afraid to do so. It's silly, I know. Even I can't explain it. Anyway, imagine my surprise when I saw you on the Chaser. At first I thought someone had stolen it and taken it out on a joyride!"

He stopped. Tetsuko was looking at him.

"Are you stupid or what?" she asked.

"O-of course it'd be impossible," he hurriedly said. "I mean what with security, the new key card and biometrics system-"

"You pick up the phone and dial my number. How hard can it be? It's not like you have to build a damned spaceship beforehand. Huh, I can't believe you'd overthink something like this! You're such a _girl, _Bunny."

It sounded like an insult, but for the life of him, Barnaby couldn't understand why. "How come _you_ didn't call, then?"

"I sent you an email, remember? Or rather, Kaede did. So technically the ball's in your court now. Anyway, I don't want to make a hash out of this. I thought you were busy, and I didn't want to bother you. Myself, I've been catching up with our old friends."

"Ah, that would mean the infamous debate over Sailor Moon Antonio was caterwauling about. What actually happened?"

"We were just talking. Suddenly the subject of you came up, and everything went downhill afterwards. He had the gall to suggest you like Dragonball? Please."

Barnaby had a sudden epiphany, where ancient Greece scholars would gather in the public bath house and discuss relevant things like philosophy and metaphysics, and among that sea of balding heads would be two people arguing loudly over their childhood anime.

"Why are you smiling? You _did_ like Vegeta, didn't you?"

"A-hum…nothing," he said, surpressing a chuckle. "So now that we're talking again, how have you been? You've grown fat."

"Whaat? That's your opening gambit? Seriously, Bunny…you have _no _idea how to talk to a lady!"

"You mean, there's actually one here?" He laughed at her expression. 'Fat' was such a broad term. Without her usual exercise regime, Tetsuko's only filled up a bit, particularly in the hips. Which wasn't such a bad thing. It just meant her skirt was looking curvier than ever. What was he supposed to say, then? _Hey, I like your butt. _That's about as neanderthal as it gets.

"Hmph, nice to know you've still got a sense of humour," Tetsuko grumbled.

"So who else have you been seeing?"

"Other than Antonio? Nathan…but that's only because he _made _me go out with him."

"I'd imagined that I would be the first person you want to hang out with since you got back. Or are things still weird between us? I could never tell such situations."

"You're asking me that now? In - in this _car?" _Tetsuko caught sight of his gear stick and blushed. "You know what I didn't miss when I was in my hometown? Your bluntness."

"Really? Kaede told me you were practically mooning about."

"K-Kaede?" Tetsuko balled her hands and shook them in irritation. "That meddling brat!" Her phone suddenly rang. She took it out, saw the caller ID, and exclaimed: "Kaede!"

"Probably checking your whereabouts," Barnaby sighed, exiting the Silver flyover and entering Bronze tier.

"Hello, Kaede?" Tetsuko winced, and held the phone away as the speaker screamed: _"Where have you run off to now?" _

"Eh, ah…I'm sorry, sweetheart! Mummy's on her way home now, ok? Bunny's sending me."

"Barnaby? Extricated you out of another mess, I bet."

"No, I wasn't in trouble, I swear!"

"Much," Barnaby murmured.

"When you get back, you and I are going to have a talk," Kaede said firmly.

"Er…yes, mum." Tetsuko sighed, hanging up. "36-hour labour, two shots of pethidine, and a Caesarean afterwards. This is what I end up with?"

"Your daughter's a much more sensible person than you are."

"It's not my doing, I can assure you that. I'd probably would've felt better if she suddenly came home with piercings or a rude tattoo. But no. Instead she reads books and has crushes on sissy guys like Issac, or…or _you!" _

"_I'm_ a sissy?!"

She went on as if he never spoke. "I bet that idiot's got an embarassing set of CDs at home…like the Titanic OST. Or Kenny G's Greatest Hits! And he exfoliates daily too! You open his bathroom cabinet and find more facial products than shaving cream. Soon enough he starts cutting people up and stuffs them inside his fridge."

Barnaby frowned. "How did _that_ come about?"

"You haven't seen American Psycho? That movie scared the shit out of me!"

"Huh, no wonder you lack common sense. You stuff your brain with too much wild imagination."

"Which is why I'm a much more fun person than you."

Barnaby pulled up in front of her building. The lights were on in her apartment. He engaged the hand brake, staring thoughtfully before him as if weighing his next words.

"Well, it's been fun. Thanks for the ride!" Tetsuko said brightly, reaching for the door.

"Tetsuko."

She stopped. "What?"

"I know you're upset."

"Eh?" she bleated, perplexed at the sudden 180 degree mood turn.

"You'd usually do stupid things to forget your troubles. What is it?"

"B-Bunny…why are you so serious? You're scaring me, ahahahaa!"

"You also laugh too much when you're avoiding a question." Barnaby turned, squarely meeting her eyes. "I'm not the only one with an obvious tell."

Tetsuko's grin faded. She dropped her gaze, embarassed. "It's not something you should concern yourself with."

He dipped his head, forcing her to look at him again. He knew he'd be dreaming of those beautiful amber eyes later. "Is it money? I can always lend you some. You need only ask."

"No, no. It's nothing like that."

"Then what is it?"

Tetsuko opened her mouth, hesitated, then closed them again. She managed a wan smile instead.

"Whatever happened to you trusting me with your life?" Barnaby prompted.

"Please, Bunny. This isn't something you can princess carry me out of."

"Must you insist on fighting your battles alone? You push people to face their fears, yet you can't do the same yourself. Are you that much of a hypocrite?"

He'd driven his point home. He could see the flicker of uncertainty on her face. She leaned back with a resigned sigh.

"I met Tomo's parents today," she finally said. "His father's happy to see me, but his mother…well, let's just say we don't get along. Anyway, after going through the usual litany of what a waste of space I am, she went on to list out my incompetence as a parent…" she trailed off, shaking her head.

"She expects me to be this paragon of virtue. I should be carrying my dead husband around like an idol, and I should be honoured doing it…because apparently, that's what respectable widows do. She had no idea, Bunny. _No idea_ how difficult it was after Tomo died. For her to make assumptions over the things I didn't do was unfair," she sighed. Her hands began to fiddle with the hem of her vest.

"They didn't know about my powers, nor my Hero career. There were times I hated being a NEXT. If it weren't for that stupid HeroTV, I'd probably be able to see Tomo during his final moments. I realized now that that's what the show really does to you. It sucks out your life, your entire existence, until you miss the most important things. Do me a favour, Bunny. Don't ever make the same mistakes I did."

"I won't. I promise," he said, taking her hand and squeezing it.

"Oh, and another thing. If you ever catch me shacking up with a rich guy half my age, please give me a hard slap."

"Huh?"

"Nothing." She sighed again. "No powers, no money, no career to speak of. Barring Hero Academy, of course. Am I really that useless?"

"Don't let that person's words drag you down," Barnaby urged. "You've said it yourself: she doesn't know you. _She's _the useless one."

"Heh, bold words for someone who've never had a mother-in-law."

"Hundred Power isn't your real power, Tetsuko. The other Heroes look up to you. You fight harder than anyone I know, and you never give up on people. I lo-"

"Eh? Were you about to say something?"

Barnaby shook his head, smiling. "I'd be _dead_ without you."

"Haha, so dramatic as always. That's my Bunny-chan," Tetsuko said, patting his head affectionately. She leaned forth, peering up at her apartment. "Oh-er, is that Kaede I see standing by the window?"

Barnaby turned. Sure enough, there was a distinct shadow of someone standing behind the lace curtains with her arms akimbo.

"God, she reminds me of my mother during my teenage years," said Tetsuko with a grimace.

"Tetsuko."

"Hm?"

"Thank you for telling me."

They smiled at each other then, feeling some sort of wall between them had finally fallen.

"I'll see you again tomorrow."

"Do I have a choice, after you've deprived me of my car? You're such a meanie, Bun-" Tetsuko suddenly stopped.

"What's wrong?" he asked, looking at her pained expression.

"My rabbit! I left it at Saito's lab!" she wailed, banging her forehead over the dashboard. "Ohh, Kaede's going to be _so_ mad at me now!"

* * *

**Episode the next: ****Alexander Lloyds with an irresistible offer. **Bunny dreams of Tetsuko...but why does it involve gingham patterns? Plus, Saito talks about blood type compatibility and why Tetsuko's a bad match for Bunny.  



	8. Step 08: That A and O Match Part

**AN: Anything involving Tetsuko and Bunny's blood type and horoscope is pure guesswork, since there's a lack of info on that (except perhaps Bunny's zodiac). Opinions may vary, and no doubt there'll be various interpretations…this is just one of the ways I see it.**

* * *

Barnaby entered his apartment, punching in the keycode to disable the security alarm, then locked the door behind him. The kitchen lights were on. He'd forgotten to turn them off again.

He sifted through the stack of mail in his hands, moving towards the computer desk to dump them all there so that he could sort them out properly the next morning. Nothing of immediate importance, as always. Utility bills, subscription offers, invitations…

A patter of bare feet made him turn around just in time to see a figure collide against him. The letters dropped onto the floor like a pack of cards.

"Anata, you're home! You should've called and said you'd be back early!"

Barnaby pried off the arms holding him in a tight bear hug. He held the person back, feeling a familiar sense of dread when he finally saw who it was.

"Tetsuko? I-I thought I just sent you home! What are you doing here?" he exclaimed. The word 'anata' sounded wildly alien to his ears, and for a very good reason too.

Tetsuko pouted. She had a frilly red and white gingham apron on, something he _knew _wasn't his. "I live here now, silly! Don't you remember? Anyway, you should take a shower. I'll heat the dinner up for you."

Barnaby gave her a sideways look as she disappeared into the kitchen. He hunkered down to regather the letters, a thousand and one questions clamouring in his head. This is one of her practical jokes. It _has _to be. There's no other explanation.

"By the way," Tetsuko called out, "I just got back from the hospital."

"Oh? What for?"

"To pick up our baby, of course. And he's an ab-so-lute _darling!"_

Barnaby had been staring at an official-looking envelope. SoftBank. Baby. That's what it said on the front. Why would Tetsuko's former sponsor send him anything? Wait-

He was already scrambling towards the kitchen when she stepped out, holding a tiny swaddled figure in her arms.

"B-baby?" he stammered. "Wh-what are you talking about?"

"Shh, you'll wake him up! See, he has your eyes. Isn't he gorgeous?"

He peered into the folds of knitted cloth. There was a baby inside, that much he could be sure of. It was furry. It had long, pointy ears. It was a rabbit. It looked back at him with a pair of vibrant green eyes. For some inexplicable reason, it was wearing glasses.

He dragged his gaze back to the beaming Tetsuko. "Stop this at once," he said sternly. "It's not even funny!"

"Bunny, how could you say that? You don't like him? See how he recognizes you? I think I'll call him Usagi-chan Jr. Just like his daddy!"

"Tetsuko, there's absolutely _no way_ that this is my son! I mean, look at him! There's a limit to what you can pass off as a joke, you know."

Tetsuko gasped, her lower lip trembling. "You…how could you say that?" she said in a half-whisper. Then, in a rising tone, demanded: "Are you suggesting that I fooled around with another man behind your back? With the gas man, perhaps? Or the delivery guy? Huh?"

Barnaby sucked in a breath, trying to restrain his temper. "I did not say that. Are you even listening? I'm just pointing out that it's virtually impossible for-"

"You cruel, cruel bastard! And to think that you would be happy with our very own love bunny! Fine, I'm leaving! And you can get a refund for the wallpapers before thirty days!"

He looked, and yes, his entire apartment was now wallpapered with a hideous red and white gingham pattern.

"Tetsuko. Tetsuko!" he said, chasing after her. But something tripped him, and he fell…

…into his bed. Barnaby sat up with a start, feeling his heart racing. The sheets were tangled up around his legs. He kicked them off, swinging himself onto the edge of the bed.

God, what a horrible dream. He couldn't decide which one was more terrifying: the baby bunny or the gingham wallpaper. It's like not being bothered by clowns your entire life, and suddenly when you start dreaming of one, it turns into a completely different set of ideas.

He hunched over, pressing the heels of his hands over his eyes, trying to exorcise the image of a housewife Tetsuko out of his mind. Sure, he'd been plagued by thoughts of her lately, but they were anything but unpleasant. He hardly saw dreams as playgrounds of the subconscious, but if he were to tell her about this, she'd immediately pull up an online dream dictionary and interpret it for him, just for fun. That was Tetsuko: a woman with an inane curiosity over trivial things.

He went to the kitchen for a glass of water, half-expecting a rabbit in a woolen baby blanket to jump out from the cabinet. This is insane. It's all Tetsuko's fault for influencing him with her wild imagination.

He settled back into bed, trying to catch whatever remnants of sleep he had. But he'd checked his phone beforehand. Three text messages, and not one of them from her.

He hated to admit it, but he couldn't help but feel disappointed.

* * *

Alexander Lloyds had done quite well for himself over the past year. Half a dozen golden plaques lined his shelf, denoting the amount of excellence he'd driven into the company. He'd even managed to squeeze in the odd holiday or two: framed along the walls were photos of him scuba diving and enjoying Mai Tais on a remotely tiki-like setting.

He'd also acquired a few other additions for the office, such as an exquisite African print throw he'd mistaken to be a rug. And a fish tank, full of flower horns. Bloody ugly fishes no matter which angle Tetsuko saw them, but Lloyds had insisted that they bring good feng shui.

She could recall perfectly well how she ended up in his office, seated on his couch and being served a too-sweet cup of coffee. She simply didn't imagine it'd be possible for them to run into each other at the foyer as she went through security check. Well, it was possible. The blasted man _worked_ here. It's just that she'd rather not have anything to do with her former manager at the moment. The man was always bad karma. Whatever misfortune brought upon her during her Apollon days was caused by him. Like introducing her to Bunny, for example.

Alright, she was exaggerating. She simply didn't like the way he saw them both as a circus act.

"Let me guess: you're going to make me an offer I cannot refuse," she said.

"Technically, you _can _refuse. The door's over there. You're free to leave anytime you want," said the man. He was lounged at the other end of the sofa, eyeing her in the same way a punter would size up a prized cock fighter. Ah, yes. That's another reason why she didn't like him.

"What's this…trying some mafia talk on me, Lloyds? It's not working."

"I'll get straight to the point, then: I have a proposition for you."

"Don't you always."

"Barnaby's been wanting to quit for some time now. He told me this season will be his last."

"So?"

"This Thursday, some bigwigs from Skoil are coming over to see this place. They're interested in knowing about the company's structure, yearly turnover…basically anything that makes businessmen drool and have wet dreams at night. Do you know what this means?"

"They're having a school trip? Oh, how adorable. Get to the point."

"It means, they're planning on _investing. _Barnaby's our crown jewel, and I know they're only here for him."

"Right. So without him, no more extra vacation time for you."

"You get the picture now."

"What's the big deal? If they won't invest, then bring in another company to do it!"

Lloyds gave her a look which indicated that he'd discovered things in the toilet that were far more intelligent than her.

"You really have no idea what Skoil does?" he asked flatly.

"Sure I do. It's a major oil company. Always goes on and on about how their drilling is environmentally friendly and stuff. Frankly, I think it's all rubbish. You break some rocks there's bound to be a mess, yes?"

"They're a giant corporation who's had their sticky fingers in just about any profitable pie imaginable to man. Their CEO's one of the people seated at the top level of Justice Tower."

Tetsuko had seen those men: pansy pencil pushers huddled up at a round table like some bloody medieval knights, staring at flat screens all day and making decisions that bears little repercussion on them whatsoever. It was Heroes who put their lives on the line, and all these men had to do was go home to their cushy paychecks and multimillion dollar penthouses.

Tch, she _hated _corporate bastards. The ones that needed to be eliminated was them, not those thugs on the street.

"Let me get this straight," she said. "You want me to convince Bunny to stay-"

"Renew his contract for another five years."

"And what do I get in return?"

Lloyds smiled in a way that made her suspicious. "A future."

"Thanks, but I've already got one. It's fuchsia-coloured too. My favourite."

"I meant your daughter's. She's a NEXT, yes? And I know you've been wanting to send her to St. Mary's."

Damn, so he'd caught her looking through the brochures. It was an all-girl private school in Sternbild, very elite, and also very, very expensive. It costs an arm, a leg and a small country per semester, and that didn't include the amount for uniforms, books, sports equipment and bribing the teacher to get into the entrance exam. Ok, so the last part was made up. But the point was, Kaede's a smart kid, and naturally, like _any_ well-meaning parent, Tetsuko would want only the best for her. Besides, it'd be a great chance for them to live together for once, something she knew Kaede had wanted for a very long time.

"We'll take care of her schooling, and once she graduates, she can go to any university of her choice. There will be the mandatory training at Hero Academy…something which I'm sure you'd be looking forward to. And afterwards, she'll start her Hero career…under the benevolent wing of Apollon Media, of course. She'll be working in a team, just like you. Imagine this: the world's first girl band of Heroes. Think of the merchandise possibilities! CD singles, concerts, clothing lines…oh, my."

Tetsuko stared at Lloyds, and she swore she could see dollar signs shining in his eyes. "So basically, you want a Hero in exchange for another Hero? That's your plan all along?"

"No, my plan was to help a promising young lady pave her way to a bright future. I can see that she'll be an even bigger icon than Barnaby. That's what you want, isn't it? A better life for your daughter? Imagine how she'd end up if you sent her to those municipal schools in your area."

She'd personally seen those schools, and frankly she wasn't too happy with the way it was run. Bronze tier was practically a ghetto area in certain district pockets, and kids from those places went to such schools. It had been by sheer stroke of good luck that she'd managed to secure an apartment at a much safer neighbourhood…but of course that only meant lesser possibilities of house breakings and car jackings.

"No," she finally said. "If Bunny wants to quit, that's his choice. I won't straitjacket him into something he doesn't want to do. Frankly, you should be ashamed of yourself. Pitting my daughter's future against his? Just who do you think you are?"

Lloyds' expression changed. "Tetsuko, please consider wisely. This plan will work out in your favour eventually. Barnaby trusts you. I know he'll listen to you."

"I know. But I can't listen to myself when I do it." Shaking her head, she got to her feet. "I've to go. Thanks for the shitty coffee."

* * *

Saito was evil. Pure evil.

He was that archetype cartoon villain who'd conduct clandestine experiments in his lab and kept extensive bug collections. He'd probably even make paper chains out of animal intestines if he could find a suitable enough intestine.

Tetsuko was contemplating the depths of horror he'd go to as she stared at what he'd done to her rabbit.

"What," she finally managed, "the _hell_ is that?"

"The new Bunny Mascot Mk 1! Beautiful, isn't he?"

The so-called Bunny Mascot Mk 1 was fitted in what seemed to be a prototype version of kevlar vest, secured by velcro and tiny straps. Some sort of mini camera was afixed on a band around its head, and clearly he wasn't too happy about the new addition, for he'd been unsuccessfully trying to paw it off for the past fifteen minutes.

"The first line of defense for Bunny. Imagine this: during a hostage situation, we send Bunny Mascot Mk 1 to scope out the area and transmit a live visual feed for us to assess the number of hostiles, threat levels, environmental hazards, etc. Steering him would be a problem initially, but I think with a microchip…or maybe nanobots injected into his bloodstream could help us 'nudge' him into the direction we wanted. But here's the beautiful part. If there's a bomb, we could send him in, and-"

"_And let him get blown up first?" _Tetsuko shrieked. "Get those things off him _now!_ This is animal cruelty, that's what it is!"

"Should've thought twice before leaving any of your stuff in my office," Saito said tartly as he produced a screwdriver from his coat pocket.

Tetsuko watched as he worked, drumming her fingers on the tabletop. "You're still angry at me about last night, aren't you?"

Saito straightened up, adjusting his glasses. "On my way back to the lab, a group of girls pulled up beside me at a red light. They started whistling and flashing their – er – chests at me. I didn't know where to put my face!"

"On their chests, apparently. Then you can get some free puff-puff action."

"Tigress!"

"I can't see why you're so worked up over this. Some girls get turned on by hot rods. It's an aphrodisiac. Just like money. Flash them about for long enough, and soon you can get _anyone_ to do the horizontal lambada with you…no matter how ugly you are!"

"I am going to pretend I didn't hear you say that," the tech engineer said stiffly.

"What, you think girls these days go for sensitive new age guys? Please. That's a passé notion. Although, trends do tend to recycle themselves, so I'm not really sure what they like anymore. Hmm." Tetsuko suddenly gave him a shrewd look. She leaned over and poked him in the ribs. "Hey, you're not batting for the other team, are you? I mean, I can completely understand. Bunny coming down here during the wee hours wanting to discuss tech specs. Him looking cute as pie in that jacket, and soon enough you're wondering how he looked like without them-"

"Please stop talking nonsense!" Saito said sternly. "I have no interest in pursuing romantic relationships when there's still so many things for me to do!"

"Tch, so you really _are_ asexual."

"Anyway, it's painfully obvious that he's still carrying a torch for you."

"Oh, Saito…if I get a dollar everytime someone says that to me, I'd be…" Tetsuko paused, counting on her fingers, "Three – no, _four_ dollars richer."

"Personally, I don't think it's possible for you two to have a relationship."

Despite herself, Tetsuko heard herself bleating: "Eeh? Why not?"

"Blood type," Saito said plaintively.

"Blood type?"

"Yes. You're O, and he's A. A types tend to resonate best with either fellow A types, or AB. O types will prove to be too tiresome for him, for O's are spontaneous and unruly, while A's prefer structure and predictability in their lives."

"You actually believe in these blood type compatibility thing? You're a scientist! Ah, that must mean you're type A too, since you're just as boring as Bunny!"

"Actually, I am AB. Whether or not I believe that theory is irrelevant. The fact is, research has been made, and perhaps there may be a grain of truth to those studies. I'm just a man open to various possibilities, Tetsuko."

"Right. Well, I'm not open to the idea of you turning my rabbit into Frankenstein, so I'll be taking him back, thank you very much," she said, putting the rabbit back into its cage and then carrying it off.

"Drop by anytime," Saito said sweetly. "Or not."

She shot him a glare as she exited his office. Tch, smug bastard. Just because he's a brilliant man, that doesn't mean he can mess around with other people's things! Hmph.

She entered the lift, musing over the lecture she'd received from Kaede last night for her carelessness. They'd ended up taking a cab to the train station this morning. Barnaby had been extremely apologetic, but Hero business was still Hero business. Apparently bank robberies sit on a far higher scale compared to keeping promises with a friend. Whoever those group of numbskulled crooks were, they'd probably thought that robbing a bank in broad daylight was a really good idea these days. This isn't the blasted Eliot Ness and the Untouchables era, man! You can't pull a heist expecting to catch the police with their trousers down anymore. If you want to steal money, then become a politician. People would _pay_ you to rip them off.

Besides, if she really was a thief, she wouldn't pull off a crime in a city where she _knew_ there'd be plenty of Heroes lying around. She had a sneaky suspicion that Agnes paid off a group of thugs just so she could raise the damned ratings. Tch, that's another spitfire virago she was glad she no longer had to deal with.

_Do you know why I got you a rabbit?_

Kaede had asked her that, while they were at the platform, waiting for her train.

Tetsuko had snickered at her own answer. _Maybe a Freudian allusion to Bunny?_

"No. _It's because you're lonely." _

"_Wha-? Do I seem lonely? I was having a blast, hanging out with you and Grandma. Uncle Muramasa too, but he's about as fun as a cactus." _

"_You miss your old life. I can tell. And it's painful, losing your powers. Maybe that's why you haven't been catching up with your Hero friends before this. Uncle Antonio had to call _me_ up, asking if you're okay." _

"_Tch, that rotten bugger. He's nosier than a witch! What did you tell him?"_

"_That's my business, isn't it?"_

"_Oi, oi…since when do you keep secrets from your mama?"_

"_Mum…"_

"_What?" _

"_I know it's tough, getting back to a normal life. But I think you're doing a great job at it. And I also think you shouldn't shut out your friends like that. There must be something you can still do for them." _

Heh, like what? She was sure the Heroes wouldn't want her to still putter around them like a doddering aunty. She was a relic from the past. A dinosaur, just like Mr. Legend was. Once you get past your sell by date, you're useless. She was beginning to wonder if Hero Academy only offered her a job just because they felt sorry for her.

"_I'm sorry, Kaede." _

"_For what?" _

"_For messing up our dates before this. Now I know how you feel, being stood up. It sucks." _

Kaede had smiled then, an achingly beautiful reminder of her toddler self, who'd cry even when Tetsuko left the room for five minutes. She'd hugged her mother, tightly.

"_What's important is you're here now. You know I'd miss you, right?" _

Like a heartbeat. Tetsuko was debating whether she should call Kaede up, when her phone suddenly rang. She took it out, Barnaby's face flashing on the screen. Probably called to apologize again.

The elevator dinged, and the doors slid open, revealing the man himself standing right before her, his phone still glued to his ear. He hung up the moment he saw her.

"How is it that you always seem to know where to find me?" Tetsuko asked, stepping out. "It's almost stalker-ish. Creepy, even."

"Please. You flatter yourself too much. I see you've gotten your rabbit back."

"Yes, but not before Saito turned him into a science fair project. Now I really need to get him back for his exercise routine."

The sight of the animal brought Barnaby's dream back to him. He cleared his throat loudly in an attempt to shake the thoughts away. "Tetsuko, I'm very sorry about this morning," he said.

"I know, I know. It's not your fault. I completely understand, okay? I just wish that I could still join you."

"So, did you follow the coverage? Mario tends to embellish the details, but I certainly wasn't shot in the head. The bullet just grazed my shoulderpad a bit."

"I –uh- didn't. Sorry. Haven't watched HeroTV since I retired. But I know you'd still maintain your position. Congrats. It's tough…but you did it."

"I hope Kaede didn't miss her train…?"

"She made it with plenty of minutes to spare. We could've arrived earlier if it weren't for the stupid jam. Did you know the police cordoned off a chunk of the main thoroughfare leading to the city centre just because of that robbery? It's insane, I'm telling you. I was complaining to the driver the whole time until Kaede suggested that we walked the rest of the way."

"Ah, that must be an inconvenience."

"Damn straight it is. HeroTV always shows the Heroes in action, but they never tell us about the jams, the road blocks, and the stupid hassle of going from one side of the city to the next. As a taxpaying civilian, I've a good mind to write a strongly-worded letter to the TV network!"

"Make sure you let me proofread it first. You have a tendency to confuse between 'their' and 'there'. It'd be bad form if the public knew you have bad grammar skills."

"My grammar skills are top notch! I make one mistake and you _have _to wave it to my face every chance you've got! Idiot. Anyway, that's what auto-spellchecks are for!"

Barnaby suddenly rubbed the side of his nose with a thumb, looking sheepish as if he had something embarrassing to ask her.

"Spit it out, Bunny."

"We should do something tonight. Dinner…and a movie, perhaps? Or, there's a new play going on right now which I think you might like. It's a comedy, so that should be right up your alley. What do you think?"

The blush was palpable, and Tetsuko could see the hope rising in his eyes. Nathan's words suddenly came back to her. _Start where you both left off. I know he's been waiting for you to do that._ This was the beginning steps of a very familiar dance, and she knew perfectly well what kind of grand finale it was going to have. She hated herself for doing what she was about to do, but she kept reminding herself that it was best for both of them.

"No," she said. "Thanks for asking, but there's still tonnes of stuff I need to do to prepare for my class. Job starts next week, and I haven't even touched the teaching syllabus. You go on ahead and have fun, okay? Laugh up a riot for me."

"Oh," said Barnaby, crestfallen. "Well, that's alright. Sorry, I should've asked first if you had anything planned."

"It's fine. I know you still think that we can go everywhere together. I really, _really _wish that that was the case, but…oh, well."

"We can make plans to hang out another time, then."

"I'll put that top on my 'To Do' list. You let me know when you're free. Look, I really have to go. Call me, okay? Don't just sit there like a ninny and have internal debates on whether or not you should. I'm still on your speed dial list, right?"

"I haven't changed a single thing."

"Good. Well, see you around."

"Don't go and steal the Chaser again, you hear me?"

Tetsuko didn't bother to grace him with an answer. She merely smiled, gave him a jaunty two-fingered salute, and left. She felt his gaze on her back, and resisted the urge to turn around. Maybe she was making a big mistake after all.

* * *

**Episode the next: McEnroy makes a second appearance...in the worst possible way. A bomber gatecrashes Tetsuko and Ivan's gokon party. How does our intrepid heroine handle it? Why, with a Pocky, of course!**


	9. Step 09: That Morning Gossip Part

Of the 8 million people living in Sternbild, probably 92% of them had their televisions on at the moment. Out of that 92%, maybe 4.6 million of them were tuned in on the Mario Breakfast show. Perhaps a modest number in broadcasting standards, but only if they weren't counting on other social media outlets.

The news Mario was presenting that morning was sensational. People would be talking about it for weeks. He'd even thought of a clever tagline. _Wild Tigress' Public Meltdown! _It screamed from the screen below him in bold white letters as he smiled at the camera and crowed:

"_Goooood morning, Sternbild! _You're with me, Mario, your host for the Mario Breakfast Show! Hot news off the press: an unidentified bomber chose the wrong cruise ship when he threatened the security of _Princess Anne _and the lives of her 2,500 passenger and crew. Wild Tigress, the former dynamic half of the Tigress and Barnaby duo, happened to be on board, and she'd managed to diffuse the situation with the help of a male friend. But what was she doing there in the first place? This is where things get interesting, and you'll only get it fresh from me, Mario, your host! First, an exclusive footage our camera managed to capture after the incident."

A clip started to play, looking shaky and slightly blurred as if it was being shot on the fly, showing Tetsuko in the midst of screaming at Barnaby. He was in his suit with his visor up, looking equally pissed-off. He'd tried several times to get a word edgewise, but she wouldn't let him as she kept on lambasting him with an expletive-ridden rant.

"JUST WHO THE _BEEP_ DO YOU THINK YOU ARE?! It's not up to you to decide what I _beep_ should and shouldn't do. I saw a _beep_ _beep _dangerous situation, and I reacted, alright? What, you're _beep_ angry now that I stole your _beep_ing Hero moment? Get over yourself! You're nothing but a _beepbeepbeeeep! _YOU CAN JUST GO AHEAD AND _BEEP _YOURSELF!"

Mario reappeared, looking grossly concerned. "What just happened between Wild Tigress and our King of Heroes? If you can recall, there has been a considerable amount of speculation going on around them last year-"

Tetsuko shut the television off with a sigh. She'd saved lives and all they could talk about was her blowing her top. Why is it called 'public meltdown', anyway? If a man were to do it, they'd probably label it with a less degrading name.

She entered the bathroom, resuming her daily ritual of hunting and eradicating grey hair. She kept telling herself she should get a dye job and save herself all the trouble, but somehow after staring at the mirror, she'd managed to convince herself that her hair wasn't that bad. Then the whole vicious cycle begins again every morning.

Hmph, it's always a rotten affair everytime she quarreled with Bunny. That bastard could say the meanest things, and he didn't even have to work hard at it. Being unpleasant was his modus operandi.

Her rabbit came nosing around the door. Kaede kept reminding her that she should rabbit-proof her home, but she couldn't figure out what the hell that meant. "At least you'll never argue with me. That's a comfort," she said to it, eyes still fixed on the mirror.

Her cellphone pinged, causing her to miscalculate and pull the wrong hair. She cursed. It was a message from Ivan.

_I'm sorry if I messed things up, Tetsuko-san._

Huh, poor kid. Caught in last night's crossfire. If she hadn't intervened, Bunny would've decimated him to pieces. She wasn't about to apologize to Bunny. Not in a million years. She'll just…wait till he'd come to his senses and then call her up.

_If_ he'd ever call her up.

* * *

_12 hours ago…_

Tetsuko leaned against the railing, watching the lights dance over the water. The _Princess Anne, _a luxury cruiser meant to ferry people up and down the Eastern River, was moored at the quay. It was supposed to be one of Sternbild's tourist attraction. Dinner over the river, followed by entertainment and access to some of the most spectacular views of the city. Somewhere around midnight there was supposed to be a firework display of some sort. She looked at the bulky white and blue monstrosity, and hoped that she wouldn't get seasick. It's almost boarding time, yet so far she and Ivan were the only gokon participant who'd arrived.

A box of Pocky was proffered to her.

"Remind me again how exactly I got roped into a group date?" she said. She'd been prepared for a quiet night in, watching the latest dorama episode she'd been hooked on, then finally beginning her revision of the Hero Academy teaching syllabus. That plan went down the drain the minute Ivan's call came through.

The boy stared at the ground, clearly nervous from the way he gnawed on his lower lip. "Um, this is my first time, de gozaru. Another friend had cancelled at the last minute, and I'm not comfortable with meeting strangers on my own." He watched in dismay as she hijacked his entire box of Pocky and started wolfing down its contents. Looks like he'll never get it back at this rate.

"But you said you know them!"

"From an anime forum, de gozaru. I've chatted with them, but never actually see them in person."

"Oh, let me guess. You see somebody with a cute avatar and automatically think she's like that in real life, yes? Ivan…I can't tell you how many times people fall for that trick!"

"Ichigo-chan seemed like a nice girl, de gozaru. I've PMed her several times, and we have similar tastes. It was her idea to have a gokon. I think it wouldn't hurt to try it out, at least once, de gozaru."

"I really don't mean to rain on your parade here…but are you even sure that she's really a girl? 'She' could turn out to be a 40-year-old virgin with a weird fetish for used panties! Why can't you date girls you've actually met before? Like…like Pao Lin! She's a fun girl."

"Yes, she is, de gozaru. But…" Ivan paused, then muttered: "She tends to forget she's a girl sometimes."

"So you don't like tomboys. But I'll have you know she's getting into more girly stuff these days." Tetsuko shook her head, muttering: "Internet dating. Am I the only one who thinks that technology's making us dafter everyday?"

"I'm sorry if this bothers you, de gozaru. You can still leave if you want to," Ivan said in worried tones.

"And let you be molested by a group of hormonal teenage girls? I don't think so. I'm just here as a chaperone, you hear me? I'm keeping a close eye on you kids so that you won't do silly hanky-panky afterwards, like going to a love hotel, or fooling about in the bushes."

"There's a love hotel around here?"

"Yes," Tetsuko snapped. "But don't you go and Google it out. If you want to do it with a girl, you gotta make it as special as possible. Speaking of girls, I think that's your Ichigo-chan."

A girl with unnatural red hair was waving enthusiastically at them. She was heading a party of four. Tetsuko counted two boys and another girl. Great, so now there's an equal number of participants, just like how a gokon should be. But that didn't make her feel any better, because she really didn't want to be paired off with a geeky cherry-boy who's still living with his parents. The word 'cradle-snatcher' came to mind, and she hurriedly shoved it aside. She's just going to be friendly, rely on her rudimentary knowledge of the latest games and anime to get through the night, and hopefully the boys would be so put off by her big sister persona that they wouldn't even ask for her number.

"Sorry we're late! I misread the train schedule and got a bit lost on the way here!" said the girl. She spotted Tetsuko and smiled, extending her hand. "Hello, you must be Ivan's friend. He mentioned that he'd be bringing someone. I'm Ichigo. You can call me Ichigo-chan."

"Hello," said Tetsuko, shaking her hand. "I'm Tetsuko."

"Tetsuko. You seem kind of familiar. Don't shoot me, but I think I _know_ you."

"She's the Wild Tigress," Ivan supplied.

A stunned silence followed. Ichigo-chan's eyes widened and she suddenly screamed. "Eeh? _The _Wild Tigress? You're _really_ her? Does – does that mean that Barnaby is here too?" she asked, looking hopefully around.

"Um, no. Ahaha. It's just me and Ivan," Tetsuko said, groaning inwardly. Why was it that people always assumed they're joined at the hip? "I'm not on Hero business. I'm just here to watch over him-" she poked Ivan hard in the shoulder, "-and make sure he doesn't do anything pervy to scare away the girls."

"Ooh, looks like our chances are slim tonight, Nana," said Ichigo-chan to her girlfriend. "Tetsuko's gonna hog the boys all to herself."

Tetsuko laughed. "It's not going to be like that at all!"

The porter rang his bell and announced loudly: "All aboard! _Princess Anne _will set sail in five minutes!"

"Shall we?" said Ichigo-chan.

As they started to walk up the gangplank, Tetsuko yanked Ivan aside and hissed into his ear: "You just _had_ to bring up the Wild Tigress part, don't you? This is supposed to be your night! I don't want them pestering me about Heroes or…_him!"_

"Who?"

Tetsuko surreptitiously looked around her, then whispered: "He-Who-Shall-Not-Be-Named!"

Ivan's brow wrinkled. "Voldemort?"

Tetsuko closed her eyes, mentally shielding herself from the sheer stupidity of it all. If Voldemort were to join a gokon, it definitely wouldn't be to find a soulmate.

"Oh, just get up there!" she snapped. "Remember, in case of trouble, I'll be your backup. So quit worrying too much. You're making it obvious!"

She trailed after him, already feeling the sway of the water the minute she stepped onto the boat. Suddenly there was a tap on her shoulder. She turned and found herself looking at a gorilla-like face. He was part of Ichigo-chan's entourage.

"I _knew_ I've seen you somewhere! You're really the Wild Tigress!" he said excitedly.

"Er. Yes?"

"You don't remember? Oliver McEnroy. We've met, two nights ago…at the bar where your daughter was playing. You blew me off."

Tetsuko's creaky wheels of recollection turned, and she said, "Ah, yes. Um, what're you doing here?"

"To participate in the gokon, of course! I didn't mention that I'm part of the anime chat group? Wow, I've a feeling that tonight's going to be my lucky night! It's ok, I know you're wary of strangers. But now that we've met for the second time, I think it's fate."

"Wait. I – I don't really see things that way-"

"Hey, can I ask you something? Hope it's not too personal."

"Am I going to like that question?"

Oliver leaned over, and said rather suggestively: "Are you Wild in everything?"

* * *

Tetsuko wondered if it was still possible to jump into the river and swim back to the shore. They'd seated themselves at a fancy restaurant on the deck, and she'd stated, rather emphatically, that Ivan should be the one sitting across her. There was another guy she was introduced to, a technophile who seemed to be more interested in his smartphone than the girls. She'd forgotten his name the minute they stopped shaking hands, and she doubted that she'd ever see him again after that night.

Something was bothering her, so she excused herself to the lady's room. Taking out her phone, she dialled Nathan's number.

"_Hello hellooooo…."_

"Nathan, remember that McEnroy guy you keep talking about?"

There was a sigh. "How can I ever forget my first love?"

"Is he by any chance an _Oliver_ McEnroy?"

"Hm? How'd you know?"

"Sandy hair, around 6 foot-ish, face and body like a gorilla?"

"How _could_ you say that? He's the sweetest, most-"

"I just met him. I'm at a gokon, and he's one of the prospective dates."

"_Eh? _So finally Ivan's asked you out to that thing. Is Barnaby there?" Nathan asked excitedly."

"Why on earth would he want to be part of a blind group date?" Tetsuko countered, annoyed. "Are you listening, Nathan? Your ex is here, and he's fishing for a new wife!"

"New wife?"

"He's divorced, with a kid. Didn't you keep tabs on him, after he left for his studies?"

"That was a really long time ago, Tets. We've lost contact ever since. Hey, maybe you can do me a favour and get his number!"

"He might get the wrong idea. He's already spending half the time having a conversation with my tits! I would've left if it weren't for the fact that Ivan would be all alone, and he's counting on me to get the girl that he likes."

"It can't be helped, then."

"Huh?"

"I'll call Handsome up and make him so jealous that he'll storm over there and whisk you away. Then my darling Oliver will be so brokenhearted that I'll be there to pick up the pieces and comfort him."

"How's he going to do that, huh? I'm in a _boat, _in the middle of the flipping Eastern River. If you look outside your office window, you could probably see me."

Nathan sighed. "Sure would be nice if I can talk to him now. How does he – how does he look like?"

"He's come a long way from his rugby days, I can tell you that. Packed on a few pounds here and there, but not too much. I don't know what he does exactly, but from the look of things, it's like a desk job. Sorry, but I have to go. Ivan's looking rather green, and I'm sure it's not because of seasickness."

"Hey, get his number!" Nathan squealed before he was cut off.

Tetsuko rejoined the party. Ichigo-chan was in the middle of talking about her job as a makeup counter artist.

"Every month there's, like, _tons _of free samples. I didn't have to – oh, welcome back, Tetsuko – spend a dime. And Nana here works for a _famous_ fashion design house, and she sometimes brings home the most _awesome_ stuff. Lucky thing we both have the same dress size. What about you, Tetsuko? Tell us about your job with Barnaby."

"Eh?" Tetsuko said, surprised at the sudden attention diverted towards her. "There's really nothing to tell, ahaha! We're really not that interesting. But _Ivan _here has a thing or two to say about himself, right?" she said, looking urgently at the boy and making a slight jerking motion towards Ichigo-chan with her head.

"Oh, come on…I'm sure you have _tons_ of stuff to share!" said Ichigo-chan. "Don't hold back on us now. Is he still seeing that Melanie Thrask? Y'know, she said the meanest things about him once. Said that he's a lousy kisser and everything. She's probably jealous because he dumped her."

Tetsuko surprised even herself at her own reaction. She laughed.

"Huh? Did I say something wrong?" Ichigo-chan asked, confused.

"Sorry, I wasn't laughing at you," Tetsuko chuckled. "Am I even supposed to know who this Melanie Thrask is?"

"Meh, some half-rate lingerie model," said Ichigo-chan with a flippant wave of her hand. "I heard she only got her big break because she slept with some bigshot record producer. She'd denied it, of course. But their sex tape is still lying around somewhere, if you know where to look."

"What is it with people and sex tape these days, huh? Is it like some form of voyeurism?" Tetsuko mused. "Anyway, so…Ivan told me about this interesting anime he's been following. What was it, now? Ah, _Chibi Chibi Kissu. _Right, Ivan?"

"That one's not cute at all!" Ichigo-chan snorted. "The manga artist simply recycled some characters from his old work and claimed that they're new. I've already told Ivan I wouldn't watch that thing, even for free!"

"Eh? Is that so?"

"So, back to Barnaby-"

There was a resounding crash, followed by an earsplitting scream. Tetsuko was already halfway up from her seat, head darting around for signs of trouble. It was never a good thing everytime she heard that. Tableware clattered as diners swarmed towards the exit. That was when she saw him. A man in a trenchcoat, standing on a table in the middle of the restaurant.

"Huh, looks like someone's overloaded on beer again," commented Ichigo-chan. "What an idiot."

"EVERYONE DOWN ON THE FLOOR! I SEE ONE PERSON TRYING TO ESCAPE AND I'LL BLOW THIS GODDAMNED TUB UP!" The man twitched his coat aside, revealing bricks of C4 explosives strapped to his body.

Tetsuko groaned. Why was it that psychopaths always wear trenchcoats? Is there a secret club somewhere that makes the trenchcoat style compulsory? Ivan caught her eye, and he glanced meaningfully at his wristcom. She nodded.

First order of the day, she's got to distract the perp long enough for Ivan to call for help. She began to take a step forward-

-and kissed the floor as 230 pounds of rugby enthusiasm tackled her to the ground.

She tasted blood, and uttered an oath strong enough to shatter the world around them.

* * *

Barnaby scribbled into his daily planner, putting on the pretense that he was listening closely. The meeting had dragged on again, with the producer and director at odds on the choice of concepts. It was a commercial for a sports drink, for goodness' sake. Barnaby couldn't see how difficult it was to just pick an idea.

His wristcom buzzed. Casting an apologetic look at the people in the meeting room, he excused himself and stepped outside.

"Yes?" he said.

Ivan's voice filtered through, sounding very worried. "Barnaby-san! Thank goodness! You have to help us, de gozaru! We're on a boat, and a perp's taken over, threatening to kill us all if we escape! He's got bombs strapped all over him. He's already blown up the doors! We're over at the Eastern River, and if you hurry, you can-"

Barnaby sighed. He was seriously getting tired of this. "You're a Hero, aren't you? _You_ do something for a change. I'll contact Bison and the rest, and-"

"No, you do not understand, de gozaru. Tetsuko-san's with me, and…and I think she's going to try to stop the perp."

"_What?!"_

* * *

Tetsuko coughed, shaking her head to stop the ringing in her ears. She felt as if an elephant was doing a trapeze act on top of her, and weakly tried to shoulder it off. McEnroy's face loomed anxiously over her. He was mouthing something she couldn't hear. She panicked.

"Eh?" she said.

"Are you alright?"

"Bloody get off me!"

McEnroy shifted, but still kept his hands on her. "He's rigged the door with explosives! I…I think somebody's dead."

"Not your usual rugby scrum, eh McEnroy? How're the girls?" Tetsuko looked at the mass of screaming Ichigo-chan and Nana. "They're fine," she added.

"I'VE ALREADY TOLD YOU NOT TO RUN. STILL THINK I'M JOKING NOW?"

"Tetsuko-san!"

Ivan had crawled around the table to get to her. A bit of shrapnel had caught him in the face. "How bad is it?" she asked.

"Help's on the way," he said. "Um, what're we going to do?"

"You _hide," _said Tetsuko urgently. "And back me up when the time comes!"

"Are you sure about this? Maybe we should just-"

"THINGS ARE GOING _MY_ WAY, OR I'LL TURN EACH AND EVERY ONE OF YOU INTO FISH FOOD. SOMEONE GET ME A STRAIGHT LINE TO THE MAYOR, _NOW!" _

Tetsuko had heard this song so many times now. First the perp asks for someone from the authorities. And if negotiations fail, he'd probably start strapping people with C4's and start blowing them up just to prove his point. Well, she's cutting through the middle man right now.

She sat up on her heels, straightening out her clothes. Through the haze of smoke and plaster, she could just make out the perp's form.

"What're you doing?" McEnroy asked, trying to haul her back down.

She got to her feet, raising her arms as she said, very clearly: "You don't want to talk to the mayor."

The perp spun around. "Who said that?"

"Wild Tigress," she said, taking a cautious step forward. "The mayor gets confused very easily, and if you hit him up with too many demands, he'll get a headache. Why don't you talk to me instead?"

"Heh. Wild Tigress, _here?"_ the perp said with a sneer. He looked at her up and down. "They say you've got no more Hundred Power. What're you gonna do now, huh? _Claw_ at me?"

"Well, for starters, I'm going to lower my hands-" she said, doing so, "-and talk. Or rather, _you_ talk, and I listen. First question: what's your name? I can't keep on labeling you as 'Anonymous Bomber'."

"I ain't gonna give you nothing! I'm talking to the mayor and nobody else."

"Okay, so 'Anonymous Bomber' it is, then. Kinda sad, isn't it? I mean, think of how tomorrow's headlines are going to sound like. _Anonymous Bomber Terrorizes Boat. _Doesn't exactly roll of the tongue. But if you have a _cool_ name, now that's going to stick to people's heads longer."

The perp sniggered, and said to the room in general. "Would you listen to this idiot? Still thinks she's some bigshot Hero." He turned towards her with a snarl. "Back off, Wild Tigress. Or you'll be the first one I blow up."

"Before you do that, if I may…I'm a bit nervous now, and I've just the thing to calm myself down," she said, reaching slowly for her vest pocket.

"Hey, what're you-? Keep your hands where I can see them!"

Tetsuko produced a small box, and giving him an apologetic look, took out a slim, cylindrical thing from it. She put it between her lips, trying to affect a gritty cowboy persona as she took a deep breath and exhaled.

"Ahh…much better," she sighed.

The perp stared. Then started to chuckle uneasily. "Haha, you really _are_ daft. That's a Pocky you're smoking."

"So?" said Tetsuko, unfazed. "People smoke bits of grass, and nobody's complaining. You want one? Here, _catch." _

There's just something about the word 'catch' that makes the hands react automatically. As the perp fumbled, a chair smashed over his back. Ivan appeared, glowing blue and wincing as he watched the man go down.

Tetsuko hauled the man up, and clocked him hard. His eyes rolled back into his head and he dropped to the ground, unconscious. Brushing off her hands, she looked at Ivan. "Alright?"

He nodded.

"Let's see if he's got any ID on him," she said, stooping down to turn the perp over. His pack of C4's rolled into view, along with the timer screen. It was glowing red, along with the number 10 counting down rapidly.

"Huh, that wasn't there before, de gozaru."

In the briefest moment of stunned silence, they both exchanged panicked looks before Tetsuko yelled: "Knife!"

Ivan tossed her a switchblade. She sliced through the layers of duct tape strapping the bomb to the man's body. She recalled seeing an entire chapter on this, inside the teaching manual, telling a Hero how to disarm a bomb. Oh, how she wished she'd read that part up now. Red or green wire, it didn't matter now, especially when all they've got were a couple of heartbeats away from death. Tossing the knife aside, she yanked the thing off him and scrambled towards the railing. 5 seconds to go now. Suddenly the river seemed too far away from her. If only she could make it…

_4…_

Oh, God…is she really going to die here, blown to smithereens while she was in the middle of gokon, and the last man to ever hold her was McEnroy?

_3…_

How she wished Bunny was here…

_2…_

She thought she heard a sonic boom, but it could only be her imagination. A streak of pink and blue flashed past, knocking her sideways. She staggered to the ground, suddenly finding her hands empty.

_1…_

Above her, the sky exploded.

* * *

**Episode the next: The Kabunaby saga's heating up. Bunny and Tetsuko fighto! Will this be the end to the dynamic duo? Or will they be reunited in a passionate embrace? Plus…Tetsuko puts her head into the jaws of the beast as she asks for a favour from her in-laws.**


	10. Step 10: That Kabunaby Part

**Baskets of thank yous and big bunches of virtual flowers to all the awesomesauces who gave this story a chance. So this goes out to you, you...and you too. Maybe I should put Bunny in another gingham-festooned dream sequence just to properly thank you all...because that's his favourite wallpaper pattern...X)**

* * *

Ivan helped Tetsuko to her feet.

"That…that was Bunny I just saw…right?" she babbled, clinging onto his shoulders. "It's either that, or…or I'm dead and I'm in some kind of unfunny limbo world. Oh, God. Am I dead?"

"We're alive! Barnaby-san saved us."

Tetsuko craned her neck, looking up at the sky. "Where's he, then? Don't tell me he got blown up as well?"

"Ivan!" Ichigo-chan barreled forth, pouring herself into his arms as she sobbed. "That was very brave of you! I was soo worried!"

"Everyone okay?" Tetsuko asked, watching Nana fuss over the technophile, who'd received a minor cut on his head.

"I'm okay," said a hopeful voice beside her.

She rolled her eyes. "You don't count, McEnroy."

A helicopter whipped above them, shining a spotlight over the deck. Mario seemingly appeared out of nowhere, interviewing the frazzled crew members and urging the cameraman to take shots of the restaurant. That man could very well be a NEXT, since he always knew where to be at the right time.

"I thought you were crazy, going after the guy like that! Guess Hero or no, you've still got guts," McEnroy said, looking at her admiringly.

Tetsuko felt a flush of pride. She was about to say something, when suddenly she felt her arm being yanked roughly from behind. She spun around, and found herself face-to-face with a livid Barnaby. He was still glowing with Hundred Power.

"Just what the _hell_ were you thinking, attempting to disarm a bomb by yourself?" he demanded.

"Ow, Bunny. You're hurting me!" she exclaimed. He was gripping her to the point of crushing her bones. She hissed when he jerked her away.

"Okay, I admit it. I wasn't thinking at all when I did it," she snapped. "But it's either me or everyone else, and I really didn't have the time to go through a moral dilemma!"

"I will not have you risk your life for the sake of re-enacting your former glory!"

Tetsuko gaped. "You think this is about me _wanting _to be a Hero again? It had _nothing_ to do with that whatsoever, and you're really being unreasonable!"

"Whoa, simmer down there, buddy," McEnroy interjected. "She saved our lives, and that's the most important thing! Why can't you cut her some slack?"

Barnaby turned to give the man a brief once over. His withering look said it all: _You are less than nothing. A mere insect. You're not worthy of me, and I will destroy you if you dare interrupt me again. _

He suddenly rounded in on Ivan. The boy actually flinched when he raised an accusing finger at him. If Barnaby could spit fire and thunder at that moment, Ivan would've been a pile of ash within seconds.

"_You," _Barnaby growled with the vengeance of the gods, "call yourself a Hero, yet you can't do a single thing right. You ought to be ashamed of yourself. Why don't you just quit and run a fast food cash register instead? Least of all you can stop being an eyesore to everyone."

Ivan said nothing. He looked as if he was ready to cry. Tetsuko pushed herself between them.

"Hey, _back off," _she demanded, prodding Barnaby hard in the chest. "Ivan's been nothing but a great help. In fact, he did most of the work. You weren't here. You didn't see what actually happened. So shut the hell up and stop making goddamned assumptions!"

"Don't you get it, Tetsuko?!" Barnaby was yelling by now. He didn't care that he was on camera, nor the fact that they were arguing live on HeroTV. "You're a has-been. A burnout. You're no longer a Hero, and you will _never _be one. Not anymore! You're finished! Get that through your fat, stupid head for once!"

Tetsuko didn't know how, but at that moment, she saw nothing but red.

* * *

The video of Wild Tigress hurling obscenities at Barnaby had gone viral online. Several enterprising rap artists had edited the audio and incorporated it into their songs. They became instant hits. Hundreds of internet memes popped up, ranging from the humorous to the downright ridiculous. Somewhere along the way, a new word had been added to the gossip dictionary, and it was Kabunaby: a love child borne from the mashup of both Tetsuko and Barnaby's name.

But that wasn't the worst part. The worst part was Tetsuko's rabbit died. During one of its most adventurous explorations, it came upon an exciting wire lamp and gave it a nibble. It turned out to be the last discovery it'd ever make. Tetsuko had never shed a tear over an animal her entire life, but this time she did. She saw it as an omen, a foreshadowing of what was to come between herself and Barnaby. She never even had a chance to take its photo when it was alive.

She'd developed a phobia of stepping outside her home. Despite her keeping her head down and dodging the paparazzi as best as she could, that never stopped them from stalking her. Suddenly she was a mystery, and everybody wanted to know how she felt about her outburst.

Rotten, of course. Rotten to the core. They're flogging a dead horse by dredging up the past. There was no 'kindling the old flame'. There wasn't even a single spark. She'd personally made sure of that. Bunny probably had enough of her by now and taken her out of his buddy list. Which leaves him with…zero friends. Again.

So things were really back to where they started.

Bunny should be happy. He'd always wanted her to leave him alone.

She'd received a phone call from her father-in-law, cheerfully inviting her to have dinner with them. It was supposed to be a belated birthday treat, but she knew what it was all about.

They'd both found out she was the Wild Tigress, and now they wanted an explanation. A really good and detailed explanation.

She didn't know what she was thinking when she broke away from habit and dressed herself up in a yukata. Her normally unruly hair was swept back and held in place with a comb. She looked every inch the traditional woman Tomo's mother wanted her to be, and perhaps a spiteful part of her did it because she wanted to see the old woman's reaction.

It wasn't smooth sailing, though. After several awkward fumblings and a quick search through the internet, she'd finally figured out the proper way to tie the obi. She looked at herself in the mirror, resisting the urge to scrub the makeup off her face. She felt ridiculous, like an alien putting on a costume…but if she showed that she can be respectable, then maybe Momoko will see her in a better light. All the while she'd been resisting the changes foisted upon her. She'll just go with the flow for now and see how things go.

Besides, she had a rather pressing matter to ask of Tomo's parents.

After a few bit of fussing, she decided that she looked presentable enough. Hopefully they'd be too busy staring at her face to notice her Mr. Legend flip flops.

* * *

Barnaby pulled up at the Kyoto Restaurant car park. This would be the kind of place Tetsuko would love. Authentic Japanese cuisine, reportedly the best in the city. He made a mental note of taking her here someday.

Oh, but wait. They're not on speaking terms right now. At least until she admits her mistake. It was silly of her to be stubborn over this, but she really had no business running around acting like she still had Hundred Power to back her up in case of trouble. He was scared beyond belief when he saw her with that bomb. He'd honestly thought that he couldn't reach her in time…

Lloyds was already waiting for him at the entrance.

"Ah, Barnaby," he smiled. "Those gentlemen from Skoil will be here soon."

It was supposed to be another business meeting. Barnaby couldn't understand why he had to be there. Let all the investment deals go through Lloyds. He had no interest in being a monkey to the organ grinder just to please some execs. A least, not anymore. If Tetsuko was ever right about one thing, it was that Heroing had lost its true purpose. He hated to admit it, but he was starting to think like her, mourning over the past, losing focus on what really mattered. These days it was all about sponsorship, more sponsorship and commercialism. Superficiality was the new sexy, and he _hated_ it.

Three men in pressed suits arrived. They were introduced to Barnaby, and he shook hands with them politely. They chatted with Lloyds for a while, complaining about the traffic, and mentioning how beautiful central city looked like at this time of night. Barnaby stood back, disinterested.

An elderly couple swept past him, and he shifted to make room. His eyes fell naturally on the woman following them, and he instantly froze.

It was Tetsuko. There was no mistaking it. She looked bizarrely different in that flowing pink yukata, but he was as sure it was her as the wild fluttering of his heart. Her eyes widened when she saw him, but then she lowered her gaze and bowed hurriedly as she passed him.

He spun around, watching the restaurant hostess greet the elderly couple. He found himself gazing at Tetsuko's back, willing her to just glance over-

Lloyds slapped him on the shoulder. "Oi, you can ogle at girls in yukatas during your spare time," he said. "Right now we've work to do."

* * *

Bunkichi had requested for a private room. After serving them tea and presenting them with their menus, the hostess graciously excused herself, saying that she'll be back to take their orders.

Bunkichi smiled at Tetsuko. "You can order anything you like, Tetsuko-chan. It's a special treat from us. You look very pretty, by the way."

"Thank you, otoo-san," said Tetsuko. "Now's the best time to eat plenty of otoro!"

Momoko flipped through the menu, scrutinizing the pictures before grumbling: "There's nothing here that I like!"

"Sure there is, dear," said Bunkichi. "There's that gyudon set over at the beef section. I heard it's their signature dish."

Tetsuko pored over the sushi platters, wondering what she should get, when Bunkichi cleared his throat and said: "I suppose things have been such a whirlwind for you lately, Tetsuko-chan. We could see nothing but pictures of you everyday now."

Tetsuko tried her best, but she couldn't hide the wince on her face. "Ah, yes. About that. I'm sorry I wasn't honest with you both. I…_wanted_ to tell you that I'm a Hero, but my job wouldn't allow it. And now, you have to find out this way. I - I'm really sorry."

"Must be tough for you all those years," Bunkichi said sympathetically. "Does…does Tomo know?"

"Yes. He was the first. And, he was the one who encouraged me to become a Hero," said Tetsuko. She was watching their reactions closely. Bunkichi seemed genuinely curious, but Momoko was resolutely staring at the tabletop and never once glanced up to look at her. She suddenly felt as if she was confessing to some deep, dirty secret and hoped that they wouldn't make such a big fuss out of it. She's 100% retired. It's not like she's ever hurt anyone before this. Well, maybe crooks. But she'd always made sure she prioritized the family first.

Momoko took a sip from her tea. Then, delicately placing the cup back onto the table, she said: "Must be nice to be some bigshot celebrity."

"Ahaha, it's not that fun, okaa-san. Most of the time I'm stuck doing paperwork," said Tetsuko.

"Is that why you're too good to take on our family name?"

"Momoko…" Bunkichi said in chiding tones. "I'm sure she has a perfectly good reason for doing so, right Tetsuko-chan? You need to protect your identity, and Tomo's. It's _dangerous _if people knew who she really is."

"Yes, otoo-san. That's true," said Tetsuko. She'd recalled Momoko's outrage over her insisting on keeping her surname after marriage. It hadn't been that big of a deal: it was a name she was born with, and she was proud of it. But Momoko didn't see it that way. She took in a deep breath, weighing her next words. "I know I should've been more forthcoming. I cannot apologize enough to you both. But now that I've quit, I can raise Kaede properly. I've made plans of bringing her over to Sterbild and continue her schooling here. That way she can visit you more often."

Bunkichi brightened up. "That's a _great_ idea! Don't you think so, Momoko?"

"But," Tetsuko continued, "it is on that matter that I need your help." Shuffling backwards so that she had enough room, she pressed her fingertips onto the floor and bowed. "The school I'm planning to send her to is very expensive. If you could just help with the semester fees, I would appreciate it very much. I promise I will find a way to pay you back."

There was silence. A deep, thoughtful silence where Tetsuko imagined a blade could fall over her neck anytime.

"Naturally, we will help if we have the means to do so," said Bunkichi. "How much do you-"

"Almost ten years, and only now you wish to make amends?" Momoko's voice cut him off, chilly as the morning snow. "What a shallow woman: dangling her daughter's presence in exchange for our money. You will need to rethink your purpose before you ask us for anything, Tetsuko."

Tetsuko felt her stomach clench. So much for wishing that everything would go well.

* * *

Barnaby stared at the menu, suddenly deciding he didn't want to eat. He kept an ear out on the idle chatter going on between Lloyds and his associates, but a small portion of his mind was wondering where Tetsuko was, and if she was in a similar private dining room as he was. He shook his head, silently berating himself. It wasn't like him to lose focus like this. Somebody was talking to him.

"It is truly an honour to finally meet you in person, Mr. Brooks."

"Not at all. The pleasure's all mine, Mr. Von Bach," he said, mentally reciting the mantra he used to remember names. _Bach, as in the composer, who did Toccata and Fugue in D Minor…_

"To be honest, I was worried about the rumours of you retiring."

"I understand that has been going around a lot."

"But I'm glad you've decided on resuming your contract for another five years."

Barnaby hesitated. This was news even to him. "Have I, now?"

"Your manager told us. He assured us that this season wouldn't be your last…right?"

Barnaby's eyes swivelled towards Lloyds. The blasted man had obviously taken one too many liberties over his career. He smiled at Mr. Von Bach. "That is still under discussion."

"Sumimasen, are you ready to order, gentlemen?" the hostess trilled from outside. The cherry blossom painted door slid aside, and she bowed before entering. "Do you need any recommendations?"

Barnaby ducked his head towards Lloyds and said in serious tones: "We need to talk."

"Wait, we're in the middle of ordering!" said Lloyds. "I think the prawn fritters look-"

"Why did you assume I'd be continuing my contract when I've made it clear that I'm quitting?"

"Come on, you can't be serious about quitting…not when you're still at the top of your game?" Lloyds glanced over to their dinner guests, who were happily chatting the hostess up, then raised his menu so that he could confer in private with Barnaby. "You know who these Skoil guys are? They're the ultimate players in the field! One investment deal from them, and you'll be sponsored for life! Think of what you're throwing away if you decide to leave now!"

"That's the whole point! My decision's my own, and you're in no place to make plans on my behalf!"

"Alright, what is it that you want? A bigger raise? A nicer penthouse? We'll give it to you…once we manage to score a deal with these guys. What's another five years, huh? It'll fly by before you know it, and by the time you're thirty, you'll never have to worry about money. Ever. Now, who wouldn't like that?"

"I don't," Barnaby growled. "You will end this farce right now, or so help me I will do it myself."

"Huh, so maybe Tetsuko was right after all."

"What's that supposed to mean?"

"I may have asked for her help in convincing you. Offered her a nice incentive for it too. If there's anyone who can make you do things, it'd be her." Lloyds chuckled at his expression. "Poor Barnaby. You're really that oblivious, aren't you? Anyone can see that she's got you wrapped around her little finger, and that's no mean feat, even for someone as crass as her."

"You're a delusional man, Lloyds. I'd pity you, if it weren't for the fact that my disgust is far greater," said Barnaby. He slammed his menu onto the table, hard enough to wobble the teacups and make everyone shut up.

"It appears there has been a gross misunderstanding," he stated clearly at the four surprised faces before him. "Contrary to what my manager have assured you gentlemen, it is true that I'm quitting. This year will be my final appearance as Hero. I apologize for inconveniencing you…especially after you've arranged this meeting, then to come from so far away. I've taken up too much of your time…so it's only fair for me to be upfront. I don't believe there's to be any further discussion tonight. Please excuse me."

With that, he got up and, stepping over the gaping Lloyds, left the room.

* * *

Momoko felt scandalized. The mystery of her late son's obsession with HeroTV was finally solved. She herself never understood such crass shows. A group of NEXTs prancing around in spandex bra and panties…for what? And to think that the…the yanki he was married to turned out to be one! Her friends were having a field day pecking away at her for more information. _Was it true what we heard? Did she really do all that? _The petty ones came up with even more snide remarks. _She fooled around with a younger man! Has she no respect for herself? Dangerous things like NEXTs should be locked away for good!_

"Whatever happened to all that sponsorship money? Squandered it away on frivolous things, no doubt?" she asked.

"Yes, but only if you think that paying off Tomo's hospital bills and saving up for Kaede's university education is frivolous," said Tetsuko. She'd risen up to meet her mother-in-law's gaze. Let it be known that she was many things, but irresponsibility towards her family wasn't one of it. She was a damned good wife, and she'd fight tooth and nail with anyone who'd dare contest that.

"Tetsuko-chan, we did ask if you needed help back then," Bunkichi sighed. "You could've said something. Now I feel guilty for letting you carry all that burden by yourself."

Tetsuko managed a wan smile and shook her head. "Thank you, otoo-san. But Tomo told me not to trouble you both. It was already difficult as it is when he told you he was sick.

"But still…" Bunkichi trailed off, looking at her sadly.

"You rescue strangers and fool around with that damned television show, yet you can't spare the time to be at your husband's deathbed? Seems to me you've made it _very _clear where your priorities lie. Frankly, I don't see anything impressive in what you do," said Momoko.

Bunkichi's head whipped towards his wife. "Momoko!" he exclaimed, scandalized. "That was very uncalled for!"

"You're right, okaa-san."

Both husband and wife stared at Tetsuko. She had a faraway look in her eyes, but when she spoke, she spoke with such conviction.

"I myself don't see what's so impressive about being a Hero. But Tomo did. He believed that what I do is worthwhile, and that's why I fought the hardest. It was simply because he told me to, and not for any other reason. So really, to me the real Hero was your son. In a way, he was with me till the very end, and that was a luxury I was thankful for." Tetsuko met Momoko's eyes, and stated very clearly: "You don't understand, okaa-san…you never will. I left because of him, and I came back because of him. If I had any idea how much pain he was in that time, I'd have stayed. But we made a promise, and I've been keeping it till now. That's what really happened."

Then, muttering a quick apology and bowing towards them, she got to her feet and left. She was breathing heavily when she slammed the sliding door shut, the night air and slumbering jasmine blossoms the only witnesses to how upset she really was.

She punched the awning pillar, many times. She growled in frustration. She'd barely dented the damned thing, no matter how much she hurt herself. Whatever happened to her breaking walls with a single blow? She used to be so strong, and now she – was – _nothing!_

The door to the adjoining dining room opened and shut. Tetsuko turned and found herself staring at a very familiar face.

Barnaby blinked, thinking that he was dreaming. He was still half-crouched, in the middle of putting on his boots. It can't be Tetsuko standing there, bathed in the ethereal lantern lights, looking lost and exquisite at the same time.

He straightened up, mouth forming words he wasn't sure of saying. But she saved him the trouble, all the awkwardness, when she went up to him and fell into his arms. Her hands circled his waist, and she buried her nose into his jacket, taking in a deep, shuddering breath. She felt him close in around her, and suddenly, he was the only presence she was sure of in her broken, chaotic world.

She whispered into his ear, a yearning, a command that he'd wade through hell and tempest to fullfill: "I need to get out of here."

It was that look, damn her, that one look which made him think that he's lost himself to her forever. A selfish part of him wanted to take it back, hoard it like a well-guarded secret. But another part of him wanted her to have it, with hopes that she'll stay this time, and never run away.

Doors slid open, and Bunkichi was the first to pop his head out, followed by Lloyds.

"Tetsuko-chan, please come back inside. We can talk about this in a proper way."

"What the-? Now's not the time to be fooling about with girls! Barnaby, get your ass in here and apologize to these men! I cannot believe how rude you were!"

Tetsuko stirred, thinking that Barnaby's silence meant rejection. She started to push herself away from him. That made him spring into action, grabbing her hand and pulling her after him, ignoring the shouts dogging their steps.

"Oi, Barnaby. You can't leave just yet. W-where are you going? _Oi!"_

"Tetsuko-chan! _Tetsuko-chan!"_

* * *

**Episode the next: Where did Bunny and Tetsuko go?**


	11. Step 11: That Handsome Escape Part

Barnaby had learned, long ago, that there was no rhyme nor reason to whatever Tetsuko did. But that still didn't stop him from wondering for the umpteenth time how the hell they ended up at Hero Academy. After some considerable debate, she'd managed to wrangle him into taking them there. And he, the silly man that he was, only went along with her whims simply because. _She was feeling sad, so maybe this is one way to cheer her up. _But the way she'd kept up a lively chatter in the car was a complete contrast from the forlorn creature he thought he'd rescued from damnation moments ago. He was starting to wonder if he was fooled, or maybe that she was a far better actress than he thought.

Barnaby got out of the car, huffing in exasperation as he watched Tetsuko creep among the brambles in her yukata. She'd instructed him to go round the back, where she knew there wouldn't be any guards. And now she was bent over, searching the chain link fence for a hole she swore she'd discovered while exploring the boys' locker room.

"Must you waste your time on useless activities?" he sighed.

"Shut up, Mr. I-Don't-Want-To-Use-My-Hundred-Power! You could've cleared this thing in one jump! If you won't do something simple like that, what's the point of having powers?"

"Whatever. Don't come crying to me if you get bitten by a snake."

"Ah-hah! Got it! Come on, Bunny. Help me out!"

"I'm sure I don't have to point out that trespassing is punishable by law," he said, but joined her nonetheless.

After some considerable straining, followed by Barnaby producing a wire cutter from his car ('Why didn't you take that thing out sooner, dumbass?'), they both managed to squeeze through.

"Mission accomplished. Now can we go?" Barnaby said dryly.

"Hang on. We should check out the pool. Well, I know you've been here and all…but you never mentioned how big it was! Come to think of it, you never tell me anything about your student days."

"There's really nothing to tell," he said, following her as she circled around the building. Already they were assaulted by the strong smell of chlorine.

"Come on, there must be _something_ you remember! Like your first crush, or that one time the teacher caught you stealing exam papers – ah, here we are. Ta-daah!"

It was, no matter how Barnaby wanted to phrase it, a swimming pool. It was big. It was rectangular. It was also always full of students during PE, splashing about like dolphins as they try to pull off each other's swimming trunks. He shook his head at the memory.

"A girl once confessed to me, over at the cherry tree by the assembly hall."

"Really? What happened?"

"I turned her down flat. Told her I've no time for juvenile romance."

Tetsuko tsked. "You're so mean! A maiden's heart is a fragile thing! If you ever want to let her down, you must do it gently."

"She was a NEXT with inferior powers…super long fingers, or something like that."

"Ohh, I get it. So you'd only hook up with powerful people. _Useful_ people. How very egoist of you."

"Thinking back, I may have been a bit harsh," Barnaby said, a tad ruefully. "What would you have done?"

"Well, I'd put it like this: _Thank you, I appreciate your feelings…but I'm afraid I'm not worthy enough to recipocate._ Then you add some white lie in the end, like there's someone else that you like….or you're into guys. If she's not a psycho stalker, then she'll leave you alone after that."

"That's just another form of rejection, is it not?" he scoffed. "I think that it's better to be blunt in order to discourage anymore future attempts."

"I can now see why girls are _dying_ to keep you," Tetsuko deadpanned, arms akimbo as she gave him a bored look. "Listen, Bunny…maybe this whole asshole act works out well for you, but you gotta remember that not everyone's like you. Specially girls. I feel sorry for her. I bet it took months for her to just work out the courage to approach you."

"She should know that love itself is a battle that requires precise planning and the anticipation of failure."

"Who the hell taught you that? Sun Tzu?" she sneered. Suddenly brightening up, she added: "Hey, take me to your classroom!"

* * *

It was at block A, in one of those special classes where they'd lump in all the exceptional students.

"Wow, so this is where I'd probably be," Tetsuko breathed, going over to the teacher's table. "Awesome."

The bright flood lights from the track field threw the room into harsh black and white contrasts. She perched herself at the edge of the table, looking at him expectantly.

"What?" Barnaby asked. He was still hovering in the hallway.

"Well, don't just stand there. Class is already in session," she said, motioning with her head.

He sighed, rolling his eyes heavenwards. He entered, and closed the door behind him. "Happy now?"

"I bet you're one of those eager beavers who'd sit in front, forever taking notes. And you're always the first person to raise a hand everytime the teacher asks something."

"Hah, wrong," Barnaby smirked, moving towards a desk in the middle of the second row and settling himself there. "It's a well-known fact that teachers always pick students from the back."

"Eh? Really? No wonder _my_ teacher's forever hitting me up with questions. Anyway, so…ahem, good morning, class. My name is Tetsuko T. Kaburagi, and I'll be your new homeroom teacher. Please give me Wild guidance!"

Barnaby snickered, but said nothing.

"Let's all be friends here!"

"But I'm not interested in being your friend. A teacher's prerogative is to impart knowledge. Anything that goes beyond the scope of the class is none of her business."

Tetsuko pointed at him and said in mock sterness. "Oi, Mr. Smartypants. Detention. You're to stay back and write 'I must not interrupt my teacher' 100 times."

"What an archaic method of punishment. Are you really qualified for this post, Ms. Kaburagi?"

"Then what? You expect a spanking instead?"

Barnaby's response was swift. He was already up and striding towards her, leaning forth and placing his hands on the table, on either side of her thighs. She was so close, he could smell the perfume he knew she'd dabbed behind her ears and between her breasts. Oh, how he longed to chase that scent.

"I dare you to," he breathed.

Tetsuko, thinking that this was a joke, kept on smiling at him in that annoyingly bemused way, as if expecting him to deliver the punchline. When he didn't, she laughed. "Ohh…I get it. You think I don't look intimidating enough as a teacher. Maybe I should accessorize, get those thick nerdy specs." She reached up and plucked his glasses off.

"Tetsuko, what are you-?"

She wore them, and looked about the room. "Whoa, I can't see a thing! Your eyesight is _really_ bad…like an old man's, ahahaaa! Oh, I'm getting a headache."

Barnaby tsked, rescuing his glasses and putting them back on. "You shouldn't play with these things," he grumbled.

Still laughing, she leaned back and fixed him with a rather impish stare. "I accept your apology, by the way."

"What apology?"

"The one you're about to say. For being such an ass towards Ivan and me. For flying off the handle when you shouldn't have. We were having such a nice gokon, too. I would've invited you to meet some girls, but I didn't think it was your style."

Him, apologize? Not bloody likely. Especially when he did nothing wrong. "That really was a foolish thing you did, Tetsuko. You hardly think about the consequences of your actions."

"I didn't do it because I wanted to be a Hero again. It's almost like an automatic reflex, and before I know it we were tackling that guy and suddenly I've got a 10-pound piece of exploding plastic in my hands. Don't tell me you wouldn't do the same even after you've retired?"

"If I did, I wouldn't be as reckless as you."

"When Ivan said he'd call for help, I never imagined that he'd call you. I was expecting him to get the police, or the coast guard, even. But honestly, he's been a great help. You need to go easy on him. It may not seem like he's doing much, but that's because he's not as flashy as you. He's a good kid, and he's been trying real hard."

"You have to promise that you'll never pull that stunt again. Ever."

"I swear," said Tetsuko, holding a palm up as if making an oath, "that in times of trouble I'll be a screaming mess and will always wait for my Bunny-chan to save me. That good enough?"

"I'm getting you a wristcom. That way it'll be easier to track you."

Her eyes lit up, and she grabbed his hands. "Aww, does that mean we're, like, engaged now? Are we going to start wearing matching his and hers tees? Hey, can I have a pet name too?"

She was teasing, that much he could tell. But that still didn't stop him from blushing. For once he was glad for the semi-darkness.

"S-stupid! I-I didn't mean anything by that!" he stammered. "It's just that you're a lighting rod for trouble. If I wanted free Hero points, all I have to do is just follow you around!"

"Actually, I've already stolen one from Saito's lab. Don't know why I did it, but I suppose I thought that it'll be useful someday, hehe."

"Well, then you should start wearing it!" he snapped. "And what's with the getup? Didn't I tell you pink isn't your colour?"

"You don't like this?" she asked, motioning towards her yukata. "How mean. After all the trouble I went through putting it on too."

"I never said that. I just said pink doesn't suit you."

"Really? Then what do you think works?"

Green. As green as his eyes and made of the finest material he could find. She should have proper kanzashi ornaments like the ones he saw girls wear to bon odori festivals, garnished with a sprig of seasonal flowers. Nothing too elaborate, though. Her main selling point was her expressive eyes, and nothing should detract from that. Oh, and nicer shoes too. She can't expect to wear-

Wait, what on earth is she wearing?!

He tsked at her Mr. Legend flip flops.

"Haha, you can take a girl out of Heroing, but you'll never take the Hero out of her," she said. "Don't you dare say anything bad about him!"

"I wasn't about to," he murmured, running a hand down her sleeve, feeling the cotton roll beneath his fingers. Then, suddenly emboldened, he took her arm and pushed back the material just for the sheer want of touching her more. He hesitated when he saw the purple bruises near the crook of her elbow.

She caught his expression. "It's not as bad as it looks. Don't worry. Just…be careful when you use your powers," she said.

"Tetsuko, I'm very sorry," he said, and meant it.

"It's nothing. I've had worse scrapes before."

"And what did you get this for?" he asked. He'd turned her hand around and noticed the raw knuckles.

"A pillar hit me. It wasn't being very nice," she said, pulling herself away. Typical Tigress Escape.

Barnaby realized that she'd never respond to direct questions. Some verbal skating had to be done, distract her from the issue, and when she's finally dropped her guard, he'd ask again. If there's anyone who was good at the stealthy approach, it'd be him.

"This was a wedding gift from Tomo," she said. "Funny, he'd probably seen me in yukatas only once or twice, but never in this one." A hand went up, and her hair came tumbling down. She was starting to look like her usual self. She turned the comb in her fingers, letting the outside light shine against its lacquered surface. There was a floral design embellishing the top, but Barnaby wasn't well-versed in the cultural significance of flowers to know what it meant.

"Sakura blossoms," she said, as if answering him. "He once said they bring the summer, just like me. Hah, silly man. Talking about such things to embarrass me. They come and go whenever they feel like it, don't they? No one can tell them what to do. You know, in the olden days, boys would give a comb to the girl they like, just to show how serious he is." She chuckled. "Guess who latched on to that idea and got me one during my high school graduation?"

"I must confess," said Barnaby, settling down beside her. "I am jealous."

"Eh? Of what?"

"You talk too much about your husband sometimes. I realize it is selfish of me, and maybe a bit silly…but I feel as if I'm competing against someone who's no longer here."

"Competing? Bunny, why would you say that? I've never expected you to be better than him. In fact, I never compare you both. Sorry if it seems like I am."

"He's known you for far longer, when you're at your best."

"Oh, so now I'm not at my best? Okay, I'm insulted."

Barnaby shook his head. He knew he was fumbling. "That did not come out the way I intended."

"I think it's not because you're unpleasant that people don't like you. You just can't express yourself properly. What a cute tsundere Bunny you make, hehe!" she said, reaching over to pinch his cheek. He growled, swinging out of the way.

"I don't think you'd want to know me back then," she went on. "Nobody likes their younger selves. There's just too much stupidity. Good thing I've got a few kinks knocked out, so this is really the new and improved me."

"I honestly doubt that."

"Other than Antonio, you're really the only person I've talked to about Tomo. He's…how shall I put it? I owe him a lot. When you find someone who thinks you're super awesome, you hold on to that person till the very end. Because you'll never get a second chance after that."

"You know what's annoying about you?"

"Oh, no. Not the list again. What else do you want to add this time?"

"You give so much of yourself to people."

"Ah? Well, that's not so bad."

He tugged at a lock of her hair, tucking it behind her ear. "When will you ever ask for something back?"

"Call it a long term investment. When I need a huge sum of money, then you'll be the first person I'll ask, but it's only because you're #1 on my speed dial, and Antonio still owes me 300 dollars. I doubt he'll ever pay me back."

"That was Tomo's parents I saw back at the restaurant, wasn't it?" His hand had strayed to her neck. He felt her pulse jump.

"Yes," she said, then sighed. "It was supposed to be my birthday dinner. Hah, and what a circus that turned out to be. I haven't even had the starter yet! What a waste."

"What happened?"

"What happened was fourteen years of hate all poured out into one condensed sentence, which should never have been said. There's only so much a person can take. I had to leave, or else I'll run out of pillars to punch. Hopefully, I'll live to fight another day."

"What did the old woman say?" Barnaby realized that, once more, Tetsuko was right. He couldn't princess carry her out of this one. For all his powers, this was one thing he couldn't do, and that made him feel more helpless than he ever thought he could. He never saw the full extent of her pain, because she was very good at squirelling her feelings away.

"Nothing. Just complained a lot about the sashimi."

"Tetsuko."

"You know, I really hate it when you use your serious voice. Because then I'd have to tell you everything."

"If you want another method of persuasion, I can think of many."

"Such as? Okay, don't say it. I'm sure I don't want to know."

"What was so terrible that you had to run away?"

"It's just that-" Tetsuko's voice caught in her throat. "She seems to think that I put so much stock on my Hero career compared to Tomo's death." She caught his stormy expression, and hurriedly added: "Er, she'd said it in a more refined way, but that was the whole gist of it."

"She was never there herself, so who the hell was she to talk?" he said furiously. "God, I've never heard of such an ugly, ill-mannered hag!"

"W-well you have, actually. You're looking at her. Bunny-"

"If I was there, I'd have a thing or two to say to her-"

"Bunny, _calm down," _she said, grabbing his arms. The man had the EQ of a yo-yo, which meant that he'd seesaw through the furthest gamut of human emotion without stopping somewhere in the middle. She'd always had to catch him before he went overboard. "She's not worth it. Really. She's just one bitter old woman. But that's not the point. The point is, this isn't something that you should yourself involved in…sorry. Not that you can't. But…it'll just complicate things."

"Tetsuko, how could you allow yourself to still be involved with this woman? It's not like you have any obligation towards her!"

"Hah, d'you have any idea how long it took for Tomo to convince her that he'd marry me? Anyway, Kaede's still their granddaughter. I can't force her to cut off ties with them. It's best that she doesn't hear about this."

"Oh, I honestly doubt that. I know she'd have figured something out by now."

"I guess you're right. As _always." _She paused, tracing the design on her comb, then sighed. "Bean sprouts."

"What?"

"There was a time when all I could afford to eat was rice and bean sprouts. It's pathetic. I've tried everything, you know. Add soy sauce, Tabasco sauce, Worcestershire sauce…bean sprouts still has that sad, watery taste. This was before I discovered my love for mayonnaise, of course. Tomo made a joke, saying that I'm starting to look like a bean sprout. I hate that damn thing! I once had a dream that I had leaves growing out of my ears, haha!"

"Tetsuko, what are you saying?"

"Between shuttling my money towards my family, paying for Tomo's treatments, and - hah, settling city fines - I really don't have much left for myself. And Tomo's mother assumed that I'd frittered it all away on pointless things. Like what? A sports car? I was busy hunting the newspapers for supermarket discount coupons as it is! If I could get shrimp and a bit of meat, then it'll be a very good week for me!"

Barnaby said nothing. He couldn't imagine what it was like scraping the bottom of the barrel like that. And there he was, thinking that _he_ had major problems.

"Welcome to the real life of the working class, Bunny. It's far from pretty. But I wouldn't put it in any other way."

He took her hand, squeezing it. "You're the strongest woman in the world, Tetsuko. I can personally attest to that."

She laughed, clearly embarassed. "Yes, well…I don't want to talk about this anymore, okay? I was already in a good mood when you _had _to bring it up again. What's _your _story? Lloyds was there, so I'm betting he's up to no good."

"Nothing. He just wanted me to extend to another five seasons when I've made it clear that I'm quitting. I walked out on his potential investors, and that wouldn't be the last time. Not if he keeps on pushing me like this."

"Oh? Well, good to know that you've stood up to him."

"Did he see you before this? Asking you to convince me to stay?"

"He did. I turned him down."

"What did he offer you?"

"He'll support Kaede's schooling, university education, the works. And when she's ready, she'll start her Hero career under Apollon. He's aiming at creating the world's first girl band of Heroes. Frankly, I think he's the only one getting the sweet end of the deal. After five years, it wouldn't matter if you retired, because by then, he's got another set of Heroes to replace you."

"And you said no to all that?"

"It wasn't easy, mind you. He's paying for St. Mary's, man! You know I've been wanting to send her there. She's a smart kid. She deserves only the best. I'm fine if she wants to be a Hero, but I'd draw the line if her boss is planning on squeezing her into those damned skimpy suits like Blue Rose's. It's either something practical like mine, or else I'll just sign her up under a different company. Er…I can't be sued for that…right? Anyway, that's all done now, so I guess-"

"I'll do it."

"Huh?"

"I said I'll do it. Design your daughter's suit. That's what I've been planning to do once I quit anyway. Go back to robotics and maybe pick up my parents' work. There's nothing left for me to do as a Hero, Tetsuko. Year in, year out…it's all the same. I'm tired of it all."

"O-oi, Bunny. You've been wanting to quit for years, now. This is the first time you actually sound serious."

"It's because I am."

"Look, don't get me wrong. Frankly, I think you should quit while you're still ahead. HeroTV's nothing! I know you've got pocketful of talents stashed elsewhere because you're a goddamned genius. About St. Mary's, well…I'll think of something." Tetsuko leaned back, shaking her head in disbelief. "I just realized that Lloyds practically pimped me out to you. I don't know how he expects me to convince you if I said yes. Short of stripping and giving you a lap dance, I really can't think of anything else."

Barnaby smiled. "Now that is something I don't mind seeing."

She punched him lightly in the arm. "Shut up."

"Why did you do it? Turn him down?"

"Isn't it obvious? I just don't feel it's right. I know you've got your reasons. Besides, you yourself decide your starting and end point. Simple as that."

"Hm. Well, let's just stop at that. I'm tired, and we really need to get back. If we stay any longer, the white lady will come after us."

"White lady? What white lady?"

"You haven't heard about the Hero Academy ghost?" he asked, giving her a surprised look. He then leaned over and continued in a low voice: "They say that this school was built over the site of an abandoned asylum. A patient had her baby taken away as soon as it was born, and feeling distraught, she committed suicide. There'd been sightings of her wandering the school grounds, seemingly searching for something. You'll know she's around if you hear a voice saying…_Give it back…Give it back…_"

Tetsuko gasped, round-eyed. She looked fearfully around and shuffled herself closer to him. A sudden loud bang from the hallway outside caused her to shriek and almost jump into his lap.

"Oh, God…she's here!" she quavered, clinging onto his neck. "Please don't let her kill me, Bunny!"

Barnaby said nothing. He was shaking – from fear, she'd thought at first – but when she heard a snigger, she looked up at him. He was laughing.

"Bunny!" she exclaimed, shoving his aside. "That's not funny!"

"You're still scared of ghosts? At your age? Wonders never cease!"

"Don't tell me you're not?!" she said hotly, furious from being laughed at.

"There's no such thing as ghosts. There was no abandoned asylum. The land was already gazetted for Hero Academy. It used to be nothing but forests here. You're really funny when you scared."

"Sh-shut up! You're one twisted bastard, and I don't even know why I bothered myself with you!" she huffed, preparing to hop off the table. But Barnaby stopped her, grabbing her hands and forcing her to look at him.

"I'm sorry," he said. "I didn't mean to scare you like that."

Tetsuko kept on glaring.

"I'll make it up to you. Since your belated birthday dinner was ruined, let me treat you to one. You can have anything you like."

Glare.

"Anything at all. Just name it."

"Anything?" her features had softened, but only just. She was still looking at him suspiciously.

"Anything," he affirmed. "You know I'm a man of my word. Are you sure there's no other pressing matter that could prevent you from going out with me? A certain teaching manual, for instance? Which I'm sure you haven't looked at since you got it?"

Tetsuko's resolve crumbled. Whatever traces of indignance she had left were now surpassed by an expression on guilt. "You knew I was lying?"

"Through the teeth."

"And you didn't call me out on it?"

"No, but it doesn't matter." Barnaby tightened his grip over her fingers. "So there's really no other reason for you to rebuff my advances?"

"A-advances?"

"Yes, like this," he said, and kissed her cheek. Then, acting on pure reckless need, nuzzled her neck, just below her earlobe.

He heard it then: her soft, shuddering gasp. He smiled against her skin, feeling as if he'd scored a minor victory that night. So he still remembered the places she liked to be touched after all.

He drew back, searching for her eyes. They widened when he touched her cheek with one hand, fingers tracing the curve of her jaw before they gathered below her chin, tilting her face up towards him.

"B-Bunny?"

"Yes?" he murmured, leaning closer.

"My rabbit's dead."

"Sorry to hear that." He kissed her forehead.

"A-and…and…"

"Hm?"

"T-that point where I said things start to get weird between us?"

"What of it?"

"I-I think you've just crossed it."

"Good."

Their lips touched…

…and his wristcom beeped.

* * *

**Episode the next: A morning jog that turns into a princess carry session. How's that possible? And Keith's still feeling the sting of being a former number one Hero.**

**AN: I'm about halfway through this story when I realized that Ben Jackson, the one man integral to Kotetsu's early Hero career, wasn't included. Sorry to Ben Jackson's fans. He's a fine character, but at this point, I couldn't think of a way to put him in without seeming as if he was a last-minute write-in. He deserves way more than that.**


End file.
